Kelly's So Called Life

Notes On A Vacation

2011-08-02T22:12:00.001-04:00

I got back from my vacation late last night and after a day of resting up, I thought I would present a write up of a great trip...

States Visited: Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, Virginia and West Virginia

Miles driven: 1823

Interstates and Major Roads Traveled: I-64, I-75, I-40, I-74, I-77, West Virginia Turnpike and Blue Ridge Parkway.

Tunnels Driven Through: Five.

Cars Seen From the Following States: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, Washington, Washington DC, West Virginia and Wisconsin. Today, while out and about in Louisville I saw New Mexico and Vermont.

Cars Seen From the Following Canadian Provinces: Ontario

Favorite Vanity Plate: Spcedu8r (Special Educator).

Most Surprising Vanity Plate: Budlight (North Carolina).

Lowest Elevation of Trip: Emerald Isle, North Carolina-Sea Level.

Highest Elevation of Trip: Mount Mitchell, North Carolina- 6684 feet (Highest Mountain East of the Mississippi River)

Hottest Temperature: 102 in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Coolest Temperature: 68 on top of Mount Mitchell, North Carolina.

Hotels Stayed In: Two

Swimming Pools Swum In: One

Oceans Seen: One (Atlantic)

Beaches Visited: Atlantic Beach, Indian Beach and Emerald Isle, all in North Carolina.

Big Cities Traveled Through or Visited: Louisville, Kentucky, Lexington, Kentucky, Knoxville, Tennessee, Asheville, North Carolina, Winston-Salem, North Carolina, Greensboro, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Beckley, West Virginia, Charleston, West Virginia and Huntington, West Virginia.

Favorite City Visited: Asheville, North Carolina.

Favorite Place Visited: Mount Mitchell, North Carolina.

Things Learned: I'm content to never see the ocean again and I seriously need to move back to the mountains of Appalachia.

Best Meal: Not Your Mamma's Meat Loaf and Scratch Mac and Cheese at Tupelo Honey Cafe in Asheville, North Carolina.

Worst Meal: Taco Bell for Lunch in Morehead City, North Carolina.

Best Store or Shop: Take your pick of dozens in Asheville, North Carolina.

Worst Store or Shop: Take your pick of dozens of tourist traps at Atlantic Beach, North Carolina.

Things I Loved About North Carolina: Asheville and the magnificent Blue Ridge Mountains. I could seriously live there.

Things I Hated About North Carolina: The oppressive heat and humidity along the coast. Sand at the beach.

The Last One

2011-06-16T22:43:00.002-04:00

My last surviving grandparent died today. My Grandfather was an interesting person but not in the good way. I last saw him at my high school graduation in 1988 and I honestly don't think that I've thought of him since. When I was young, he moved my sweet Grandmother to a retirement community outside of Tampa. She was miserable being so far from her family back in Dayton and for that I could never forgive him. She died a few years after moving there and from that day forward, I had nothing but contempt for everything that he was. I hate to say this but the world is a better place tonight.

Stop The Breeding

2011-05-11T21:12:00.000-04:00

The human race is a plague upon Planet Earth and we must be stopped. It's time for people to stop the breeding and go quietly into the night. We've had our moment in the sun and we've fucked it up beyond belief. Let something else take our place. No more breeding folks...

Well That Didn't Work

2011-04-11T20:55:00.002-04:00

I wanted so badly for this to work out but for various reasons, it just isn't. Little Scout is going to have to find someplace else to live. I can't deal with the drinking problem where we have to go out to the bathroom every 20 minutes or so. During the night, we have to get up every two hours or so to let him go potty and that's with holding back the water. Furthermore, I can't do this to Sammy and Shadow, not in their last years of life. They are so stressed out and show no signs of getting anymore used to this than I am. Plus, I'm tired of getting bit every minute of every day.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2011-04-05T18:05:00.002-04:00

Not sure who is having more difficulty with this new puppy, me or Sammy and Shadow. I now remember why I had strong reservations about this. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

New Life

2011-03-31T21:13:00.002-04:00

When I first met River, she was a wild and very out of control Border Collie. Her first couple of years on this planet were spent chained up with an occasional trip off leash. She had never been socialized around other dogs and it seemed pretty clear that she had an appointment with death were I not to intervene. Against my better judgment, I took on the challenge of rehabilitating this very troubled animal. That was June of 2002 and the first few weeks were pretty rough. Eventually she came around and the life that had been bottled up inside her began to emerge.

She went on to live 8 more years, her life cut short by a very brutal case of cancer, cancer that had spread quickly throughout her body. I missed the signs but it probably wouldn't have mattered. You see, when cancer comes to the lymph nodes, there just isn't much that can be done. She lasted one week after diagnosis and it was probably the most painful time of my life. Seeing her in this state broke my heart like nothing has broken my heart before.

The day she died, eleven weeks ago today, was one that I will never and ever forget. It was clear from the moment I woke up that this was the end. All these weeks later, I finally realize that ending her pain and misery was the right thing to do. Seeing her suffer just was to much to bear, for me and for her. River, from the day she came to me, lived life to the fullest and each day was an adventure that was to be savored. Not being able to live was not fair to her.

Today, I did what I do every Thursday, I told her that I loved her and would never forget her. Tomorrow, I will do my best to honor her memory by welcoming a new life into my home. I will never be able to replace her, just like I have never been able to replace my childhood dogs. That isn't possible and I wouldn't dare try to find another "River." But, I can do the next best thing and that is to save one more life, a life that has promise and potential.

Scout, a 10 month old mutt, has already had a pretty rough life. You can see it in his eyes and emotions. He is afraid of what's out there and isn't sure that he can trust anyone again. Tomorrow I go about building that trust and earning what I hope is a lifetime of love and devotion. Tomorrow I go about giving life back to a creature who has never asked for anything but love and affection. River would love him, of that I'm sure, and I have no doubt that my pretty girl will be smiling down at me when I welcome this new friend into the family.

Scout

He won't be you River, no dog could ever be you, but he will be his own self and of that I certain. I miss you so much River but I also know that I did right by you. This is the best way I know to keep your memory alive. You will forever be with me and till we meet again, know that I love you. Tomorrow I will start to love a new life and that makes me happy. Welcome home Scout, you've hit the jackpot.

Shady Characters

2011-03-30T18:43:00.002-04:00

Used car salesmen and lawyers get all the ink but I've yet to come across a shadier group of people than plastic surgeons. We all know that most doctors have huge egos and a certain God Complex. In many cases it is warranted but when it comes to cosmetic surgery, well, I can't think of a group of people more disgusting and unworthy of a God Complex. Thankfully, it appears that America's desire for face lifts and bigger breasts has peaked and is on the way back down.

It's been nearly four years since I had my Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) from Dr. Mark Zukowski in Chicago. I had the works done and to this day I'm still paying for it. My face is in a constant state of pain with touches of numbness all around. Nothing about it feels natural and as long as I live, I'll regret this decision more than any other in my life. Still, all these years later, I'm filled with regret, anger and disappointment.

It was clear from the first few days that things hadn't gone as expected. My recovery was a bitch and I've had one problem after another, each more infuriating than the one before. Cosmetically, the results were very disappointing but as I said, it's the physical effects that have bothered me the most. I've tried to get used to this new sensation of constant pain but it isn't easy. It's with my nearly every day and is worse in really cold or really hot weather.

Dr. Z got the best of me, he sold his goods like any shady character can do. Sure, he's had some great results, but if you are considering having FFS done, please take my advice and avoid him like the plague. It really isn't worth it and I'm living proof of what can happen.

Kentucky Basketball

2011-03-27T19:28:00.000-04:00

We have a date in the Final Four.

Two Billion

2011-03-23T21:46:00.002-04:00

This is huge news, so big that I'm surprised it hasn't gotten more play. A new astronomical study reveals that there are around 2 BILLION Earth like planets in the Milky Way Galaxy alone. Multiply that by the 50 billion or so other galaxies in THIS universe and you get a whole lot of possible life. That some of it would be intelligent and capable of communicating is almost a certainty. Of course, this still doesn't solve the Fermi Paradox. If there is life out there, where is everybody?

I myself have three possible theories...

1. The distances between star systems is simply too great to communicate.

2. Someone has been trying to contact us and we just don't know where to look or how to listen.

3. Others are aware of us but because we are such a primitive species, we aren't worth contacting.

A fourth possible theory doesn't hold water, at least as far as I'm concerned, and that is the possibility that we are indeed alone. It's too big a universe for that to be the case and so I don't give that theory any credence. If I had to guess, other life supporting worlds are just too far away to make contact. It's all very possible that we've turned our telescopes to the right star systems only to do so at the wrong time when no one was calling.

Regardless, my biggest hope in life is to live long enough to witness First Contact with another civilization. I'm hopeful but realistic and that's what is so frustrating. We aren't special, of that I'm sure, but the question still lingers, "where the hell is everybody?"

This Empty Hole

2011-02-08T21:10:00.002-05:00

It will be four weeks Thursday, four weeks since my world was turned upside down by the loss of my beloved River. Some people say that "it's just a dog" and that I need to get over it. While it is true that River was a dog, it is far from true that she was "just" a dog. River, like my Sammy and Shadow, are very much my family. River lived with me for eight years, most certainly the best eight years of her nearly 11 years of life. I honestly don't know what her life was like before me but I do know bits and pieces and when I put it all together, well, it wasn't the best life.

Dogs don't get to pick their lives, they don't have much free will and for the most part, they are totally dependent on the people who own them. It isn't really fair but seeing as how we are at the top of the food chain, it's the way things have turned out. Dogs were first domesticated tens of thousands of years ago and ever since they left their wild ways, they've walked side by side with us, always loyal and always devoted.

They give everything they have to make our lives better. They do not care how rich or poor we are, how beautiful we are or are not and they certainly don't care if we are old or young. They care only that that they might please, that they might serve and that they might be the best possible friend a person could have. We owe it to them to live up to that kind of devotion and loyalty, to repay them the only way we can, with love and protection. So, a little over 8 years ago, I made the trip east to Oldham County and adopted my second Border Collie.

Her first week with me was rather traumatic as she would not eat, kept getting sick and generally tried to bite everything that moved. It was clear from the beginning that she had never been socialized, never allowed to trust and enjoy the presence of other dogs and especially people. It would take several months to earn her trust and after a few visits to the dog trainer, things began to turn around.

She soon began to come out of her shell and slowly this amazing creature began to emerge. Once she became assured that I would not only love her dearly but never give her up, she became without a doubt the most alive dog I have ever met. Each day was an adventure, another opportunity to live life to the fullest and embrace everything that came her way. Along the way, she taught me what it was like to live, something that I had kind of forgotten how to do.

River quickly became the Alpha Dog, letting Sammy know that she was boss. Now this wasn't really that difficult, Sammy couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag, but it became a role that she would never relinquish, not even in her last days. Several years later, Shadow came to live with us and another transition began. Shadow was totally different from Sammy and River. Very laid back and an emotional wreck, Shadow had spent a full year living at the shelter. Again, a transition would have to take place to make this dog feel a part of the family.

That was five years ago and in retrospect, it didn't take Shadow long to become one with us. He is a gentle soul, perhaps the friendliest dog I've ever had the pleasure to know. He is clumsy, not very intelligent (especially compared to the brilliant Border Collies) and a bit of a goof ball. In short, he is perfect. River welcomed him into her brood and over the years, the two of them developed a very special relationship.

For five years, the three dogs became one of the most important parts of my life. They slept in my bed, welcomed me home each time like I had been gone for months and did nothing but bring joy to my life. The four of us were pretty much attached at the hip and it seemed like it would last forever. This past Christmas, my Mother and I decided to take the dogs to have their pictures taken with Santa. Dharma, my Mom's dog, is older than mine and has had several very serious health problems. Both of us were afraid this might be Dharma's last Christmas and we wanted something to remember it with.

Two weeks after Christmas, I began to notice that River was having trouble going to the bathroom. It didn't seem like that big of a deal but gradually it got worse. River had never been sick a day in her life and I figured that the worst it could be was a simple urinary tract infection. I took her to the vet, certain that some anti-biotics wold do the trick and she would be back to normal in just a few days. An hour later, I had been kicked in the gut and sent reeling with the diagnosis of cancer.

I had not noticed that her lymph nodes had become very swollen but it wouldn't have mattered. The lymphoma was extremely aggressive and had most likely only been detectable for a few weeks. It had spread throughout her body and was attacking her bones and most organs. The prognosis wasn't good but the doctors thought that with major steroids and other medicines, we might get a few good months out of her. Five days later I awoke to what I feared most. After several good days, things had taken a turn for the worse. She was barely able to walk and her breathing was very labored. I called in sick to work and rushed her to the doctor, hoping against hope that something could be done.

She died in my arms that morning as I held her tight. As she took her last breath, I whispered into her ear that I loved her dearly and would always keep her memory alive. I have yet to forgive myself for letting this happen, this signing of the paperwork which gave the vet permission to put her to sleep. I keep seeing her face, the look of fear and uncertainty in her eyes. It was almost as if she were asking me "why are you doing this to me?" I know this wasn't what she was thinking but I can't help but feel that way.

I hope that she knew that what I was doing was out of love, out of a desire not to see her suffer. The cancer had eaten away at her body and now she could barely walk but I just couldn't help but feel that I was betraying my friend. I miss her so much and as the weeks slowly pass by, I do sometimes feel better. I have my good days but they are still few and far between. For the most part, I am still very much in pain, filled with this grief that will not go away.

So no, she wasn't just a dog, she was so much more. Like Sammy and Shadow and all of my pets that have come before, River is very much a part of my family. River was my friend, my companion and my baby. I miss her so much and even with all I have written her tonight, words cannot begin to express how much her loss has left a gaping hole inside my heart and soul. My life seems a bit less meaningful now that she is gone and when Sammy and Shadow leave this world, I will feel very much the same. It would appear that I am both the perfect dog owner and the worst dog owner.

The Heartbreak Continues

2011-01-21T23:52:00.002-05:00

It's been over a week and still my heart aches like never before. I am so haunted by the loss of my friend and each day is a struggle to return to normal. I miss my River so much and it's just killing me that she is gone. I miss you so much baby girl and I have always and will always love you very, very much.

Good Night Sweet Baby, Good Night

2011-01-13T09:47:00.002-05:00

I lost my baby girl this morning. I woke up to find her barely able to walk with very labored breathing. Two hours later, she passed gently into the night as I held her in my arms. River was born on June 24, 2000 and two years later, she came into my life. It would take months to get her to open up and start living again. For the next 8 years or so, she was always at my side, a bond formed that lasted a lifetime. I tried to give her the best life possible and I think I did. She loved me very much and I simply adored her. She will live on in my heart and soul and till my last breath, I will keep her memory alive. With a very heavy heart and countless tears, I begin the process of grieving for my friend. The days ahead will be among the most difficult I have ever faced. She wasn't just my baby, she was my friend and a wonderful friend at that.

Good night sweet River, your Mommy loves you more than you could have ever known. I love you my girl, you'll always live in my soul. Rest well and one day, I hope that we can be together again. I love you baby and always will. Peace be with you River!

River, may you rest in peace forever. June 24, 2000-January 13, 2011.

Better

2011-01-10T22:35:00.005-05:00

Certainly not out of the woods but things are looking up, at least in the short term. Things looked pretty bleak yesterday morning but by last night, River seemed to be responding well to her medicine. By this morning, she seemed like a different dog. The swelling in the lymph nodes has decreased dramatically and her energy level is up as is her appetite. All good signs but until we get the results of her biopsy (either Tuesday or Wednesday), we just won't know for sure. If it is indeed cancer, well, the best we can hope for is a couple of months. If it isn't cancer, well, she should make a full recovery.

The odds are still against us, there is a definite hard lump under her face but it has shrunk big time and there is still a small chance that this is just a bad bacterial infection. Whatever happens is out of my hands but with love and the excellent care of my vet, she seems to have turned the corner and is holding her own. I honestly thought that this would be the day I had to make a big decision but Monday has come and almost gone so we live to fight another day. She's one tough little bitch, my River.

What A Difference An Hour Makes

2011-01-08T16:15:00.003-05:00

I took my River into the vet today thinking she might have a urinary tract infection. An hour later, I'm faced with the news that she has terminal cancer. It's pretty bad and the prognosis is bleak at best. I couldn't make any kind of decision today so my doctor has given her fluids, pain medication and steroids to keep her comfortable through the weekend. I'll make a decision on Monday and though I know what that will probably be, it's just too painful to think about right now.

These dogs are so loyal, so loving and so devoted. They do nothing but give love and only ask that we take care of them in return. I've given her what I think is a pretty great life and so as I spend what could be these last few days with her, I'll do everything I can to make it special. Dogs are such a blessing and I can't imagine life without them. I spend more time with them than I do with anyone else. They are always so happy to see me when I get home, always by my side and are quite generous with the kisses.

I love you my River, you'll always live in my soul...

Merry, Happy Whatever...

2010-12-24T15:34:00.002-05:00

Today is, in the western world, Christmas Eve. Tomorrow, Christmas Day, is the second most sacred day to Christians around the world. If you believe the Christian Bible, tomorrow is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. If you don't believe that bible, well, it's December 25th. To most religions, and there are literally thousands and thousands, tomorrow is just another day and nothing more. To Christians, it's a time to come together and celebrate by...putting presents under a spruce tree?

Yeah, I know, it's messed up. For all intents and purposes, Christmas has become about as secular as is humanly possible. Most people won't go to church tonight or tomorrow. Most won't be thinking of Baby Jesus when they open up their flat screen televisions and shiny iPads. Yes, many of them will go out of make a big fuss about being believers but when push comes to shove, those pews in churches coast to coast will be more empty than full come Sunday morning.

As an Atheist, I find this all rather amusing. To me, the Bible and the Christian Faith are no more true than the fairy tales of Mother Goose. Science has answered many if not all of our questions and with each passing day, it becomes more and more clear that we are just random beings inhabiting a rather ordinary planet that orbits a rather ordinary star in a rather ordinary part of a rather ordinary galaxy in what is looking more and more likely, one of trillions of universes that exist in the here and now.

There is no longer any need for a supernatural being to explain who we are and how we got here. We exist because the rules of our universe say we should exist. That to me is more than enough and so tonight and tomorrow, I'll celebrate the secular Christmas by getting together with my small family, having a nice dinner out tonight, watch a movie afterwards and come tomorrow morning, the dogs and I will head to Mom's to unwrap some shiny gifts of our own.

We'll also make another vow to do everything in our very limited power to make this world a somewhat better place for all to live in. That to me is the ultimate meaning of Christmas. It is not about the birth of Jesus anymore than it is about Santa Claus and eggnog. No, Christmas is about bringing the vast human family together and figuring out a way to make this life the best it can possibly be, not just for us, but for all living creatures.

I want to wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas, a Happy Holidays and Happy Winter Solstice. However you choose to celebrate or not celebrate, please take a moment to give back to the world at large and remember, may you forever find peace.

Still Here Folks

2010-12-16T19:53:00.001-05:00

I'm still here everyone, just haven't had much to say. Tomorrow will be the 3rd day this week that my school district has been out because of winter weather. Monday was because of snow and today and tomorrow are because of the big ice storm we had over night. I'm now off work till 2011 but wish I was working tomorrow as we had our big holiday party planned for the kids and lots of great presents for them. Alas, that will have to wait till the first week of January.

Ten Reasons Beer is Better than Religion

2010-11-29T19:45:00.001-05:00

Top 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Religion

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.

9. Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex.

8. Beer has never caused a major war.

7. They don’t force Beer on minors who can’t think for themselves.

6. When you have Beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to
make them drink it.

5. Nobody’s ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over
their brand of Beer.

4. You don’t have to wait more than 2,000 years for a second Beer.

3. There are laws saying that Beer labels can’t lie to you.

2. If you’ve devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

1. You can prove you have a Beer.

Doofus Hipsters Must Die

2010-11-21T19:22:00.006-05:00

You've seen them everywhere, they are a plague on our society and it's time the rest of us went about eradicating each and every one of them. They like to hang out in urban neighborhoods, usually near the coffee shop or record store. They tend to mingle in packs, an equal mix of girls and boys. Those of age like to drink PBR, not because it's good beer, it isn't, but because it's so ironic. Their cigarette of choice is anything made by Camel and it's the only thing they ever seem to have money for.

The boys are fond of shaggy beards, trucker hats, tee shirts that are three sizes too small, skinny jeans (no one looks good in skinny jeans), canvass shoes that are generally held together with duct tape. The only thing of value is generally an iPod. No doubt there is nothing but shitty music on said iPod.

The girls like to wear much the same, usually complemented with a scarf and wool hat, no matter the season or the temperature. They are skinny beyond belief and so in need of an all you can eat buffet. They live on coffee and cigarettes and are often much more insufferable than the guys they like to hang out with.

Most of them live at home in the suburbs but like to hang in the city, either riding in on the bus or catching a ride with the rare hipster who owns a car. They contribute nothing to society. They do not buy anything at the stores they like to hang out at, preferring to just watch the traffic go by, make snide comments at those better dressed and from time to time, take a ride on a too old skateboard.

I say no more. This plague must be stopped and stopped now. When you see these hipsters on the street, let them know how stupid they look. By all means, make fun of them, laugh at them and make them get off your property. Tell them to go back to the suburbs where they live, we don't want your kind down here. Whatever you do, don't imitate them and certainly don't become one of them. Treat them with the disgust that they so deserve.

Bloodbath

2010-11-03T20:30:00.002-04:00

Well that was ugly. I suppose I can take solace in the fact that the Dems did manage to keep hold of the Senate. That will come in handy when the Republicans begin impeachment charges against Obama next year. Speaking of Obama, I saw a few clips of his presser today and I have to say, he just doesn't get it. Seriously, does he think that they are going to meet him halfway? Really? If they weren't going to negotiate in good faith when they were way in the minority, why would they now?

Regardless, it was just a miserable night from coast to coast. Here in Kentucky, my fellow citizens saw fit to elect a certified nutcase to the US Senate. Across the river in Indiana, they doubled down on Dan Coats and pretty much made it clear that going for Obama in 2008 was an outlier. Not to be outdone, the citizens of Wisconsin, a state I used to hold in pretty high regard, decided that one of the two or three best Senators in the nation deserved to be fired. Bang head against wall now.

Locally, it was still a pretty good night for those of us here in Louisville. Our Congressman, the awesome John Yarmuth, was easily re-elected and Democrat Greg Fischer is our new mayor. Jefferson County also voted for Jack Conway in his ill fated Senate campaign so at least the stupid hasn't penetrated the Gene Snyder Freeway.

Let's have a few days to mope around and feel bad about ourselves and then lets roll our sleeves back up and get to work taking back the House and keeping the White House in 2012. I can dream, can't I?

Take Me Home...

2010-10-31T21:06:00.002-04:00

I'll be heading to my beloved West Virginia this week and while this would normally bring joy to my heart, this particular trip will be filled with sadness and grief. A dear friend of mine, Margret Ann Smith, passed away today after a battle with cancer. Mags was the chef and owner of The Red Fox, the amazing restaurant I was blessed to work at for several years during the 90's. An amazing woman, Mags always made us feel so welcome and appreciated.

She watched over us all and during the Christmas season, when so many of us were far away from our families, she went out of her way to make us all feel like family. It's been over a decade since I lived there but not a day goes by that I don't think about those beautiful mountains and the place I love so much. I got to see her last October, a little over a year ago, and spent a lovely evening having dinner with her. As always, it was like I had never been away.

I will see many people that I have not seen in years and while it will be great to be with them, I just wish it were under different circumstances. I suspect that there will be a very large turnout this week as she had a large family in Elkins and loved ones all around the east coast. Most of the people I worked with have moved on to other places but I'm sure they will all find their way back to the mountains this week as we say goodbye to a dear friend. We love you Mags!

This is for you kiddo...

I Call Bullshit On This One

2010-10-13T21:28:00.002-04:00

I love Salon, it's one of the best sites on the internet, but I have to call bullshit on http://www.salon.com/life/broadsheet/2010/10/13/trans_athletes/index.html. Citing a study, Salon says that...

It turns out, though, that there is no proof that transgender women have an automatic advantage. A report released earlier this month on transgender student athletes says...

It's possible I suppose that this is true but I find it very difficult to believe. I've been on hormones for over six years now, take massive dosages of anti-androgens and even though I've lost some muscle mass, I feel pretty confident that there are few women, save for elite athletes, that I couldn't out compete in just about any sport.

I can guarantee you that there is not one single female that I work with, many of whom are much younger and if truth be told, in much better shape than me, that could beat me in basketball, throw a football further, ski better, hit a baseball better, run faster, jump higher or lift more than I can. Not a one. Zip. Zilch. Zero.

I'm not saying this to brag or for any other reason save for the fact that I have the advantage of a body that was built by more than 30 years of testosterone. My skeletal system is bigger and stronger and all those years of living "male" simply conditioned me to be able to do those things. It's the way the human body is built and it's the way that most of our fellow animals are built. In nearly every single instance, the male of a species is bigger, stronger and faster. No amount of estrogen will change that.

I give you as an example my two border collies. Sammy and River are both the same age, separated by only a few months, but Sammy, my male border, is bigger, faster, more agile and a better athlete. He's not necessarily smarter, though he is a genius, but physically, he is built different and it's the same with me.

Okay, feel free to disagree but I stand by what I've said here.

Celebrate Good Times

2010-10-11T17:56:00.002-04:00

Today is Native American Genocide Day, also known as Columbus Day. It's pretty much just one more day set aside for white people. In all seriousness though, it didn't have to happen that way.

Cold

2010-10-04T21:28:00.002-04:00

It's hard to believe that it was 99 degrees just a little over a week ago. A Frost Advisory has been issued for all of the counties west and south of Louisville. The urban heat island in the city will keep us well above freezing tonight so no frost at my house. I can't remember the last year we had cold temperatures like this, so early in the year. Last year, we didn't get our first freeze of the year till the first week of December.

Carlin Says

2010-09-27T20:41:00.001-04:00

"I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink and be Mary."

Great Big Sea

2010-09-19T21:56:00.002-04:00

I am so freaking excited about the last Waterfront Wednesday of the summer. On September 29th, WFPK is bringing Great Big Sea to town for a free concert at Waterfront Park. This trio hales from St. John's Newfoundland and are known for putting on a rollicking great show. That it's free is just a bonus.

Here's a taste of some Great Big Sea fun...

It's Got What Plants Need

2010-09-18T23:01:00.003-04:00

It's been a long time since I've seen things as dry as they are right now. It hasn't rained her in at least a month and for the two months before that, we really hadn't had more than a stray thunderstorm here or there. The green long ago left the grass, plants have wilted and died, trees are in total shock and are just dropping their leaves without ever changing colors. The ground, well, it,s about as hard and cracked open as you can get.

I've spent a small fortune watering this summer, just to keep things somehow going. I've invested way too much money in turning my yard into a natural setting, buying native species from expensive nurseries, planting numerous shade trees and generally trying to make my little space wildlife friendly, to watch it all just die. So, I have one of the few living spaces left on my street and with no rain in the forecast, coupled with daytime temps in the 90's, things are only going to get worse.

If there is one silver lining, it's where I live. On the south banks of the Ohio River, water restrictions are unheard of around here. We get all of our city water from the big river and while the water level is down a little bit (sufficient rain upstream), it's no big deal. So, I have a reliable and cheap source of water and I'm using it to keep my trees and plants alive.

So, if you have any rain in your parts, please send it our way. It is, Brawndo withstanding, what plants crave.

2010-09-12T20:43:00.002-04:00

Okay, I couldn't stay away. So, I got my new Entertainment Weekly on Friday and it's the Fall Television Preview. I've spent an hour or so browsing the upcoming schedule, reading all about new shows and catching up on my old favorites. Needless to say, my DVR is going to be rather busy this fall as there are a lot of very promising shows coming my way. So, without further ado, here is my upcoming viewing schedule (NOTE: College football trumps everything else)...

Monday Nights
Rules of Engagement on CBS at 8:30
The Event on NBC at 9:00
Hawaii Five-O on CBS at 10:00
Castle on ABC at 10:00 (DVR)

Tuesday Nights
Glee on Fox at 8:00
NCIS: Los Angeles on CBS at 9:00
The Good Wife on CBS at 10:00
Parenthood on NBC at 10:00 (DVR)
When V returns in November, I'll be watching it on ABC at 9:00.
Yes, I'm a Gleek...

Wednesday Nights
Well, aside from the wonderful Modern Family, Wednesday isn't a very stellar television night.
Modern Family on ABC at 9:00
I'm going to give The Defenders a try on CBS at 10:00.

Thursday Night
This is the night that is home to the very best show on television, The Big Bang Theory.
The Big Bang Theory on CBS at 8:00
30 Rock on NBC at 8:30
Grey's Anatomy on ABC at 9:00
The Mentalist on CBS at 10:00 Simon Baker is way hot.
Private Practice on ABC at 10:00 (DVR)

Friday Night
College Football on ESPN

Saturday
College Freaking Football

Sunday Night
Sunday Night Football on NBC at 8:00
Mad Men on AMC at 10:00
CSI: Miami on CBS at 10:00 (DVR)

End Of The Road?

2010-09-08T21:43:00.003-04:00

I've come to the conclusion that I just don't have anything interesting to say. My life is rather boring and I seem to have lost my voice. I'm not sure when I'll be back on these pages, perhaps in a few days, maybe never, but for now, I need a total break from blogging. See you soon, one way or the other.

FU

2010-09-02T21:02:00.002-04:00

Not Enough Time

2010-08-30T21:21:00.001-04:00

I'm back in the full swing at work and as a result, I just don't have that much free time on my hand. My blogging has really suffered and I apologize for that. If anyone is interested, feel free to send a friend request to my Facebook page (the link is to your left) as I update that page several times a day with short and to the point posts. I promise that as I get back in the groove, I'll do better about blogging. In the meantime, check me out at Facebook.

They Aren't Laughing With Us..

2010-08-23T20:43:00.002-04:00

...they are laughing at us. Could America become anymore pathetic?

Back To School

2010-08-15T12:47:00.002-04:00

Well, my long summer vacation has come to an end. It seems like only yesterday that I was packing things up and looking forward to all that time off. Alas, the kids will be back on Tuesday and I'll begin my 10th year of teaching. I'm actually pretty optimistic about this new year, convinced that this will be the best one yet. Let's get it on...

Thursday Night Joke

2010-08-05T19:51:00.000-04:00

It rained for days and days and there was a terrific flood. The water rose so high that one man was forced to climb on top of his roof and sat in the rain. As the waters came up higher a man in a rowboat came up to the house and told him to get in. "No thank you, the Lord will save me!" he said, and the man in the rowboat rowed away.

The waters rose to the edge of the roof and still the man sat on the roof until another rowboat came by and another man told him to get in. "No thank you, the Lord will save me!" he said again, and the man rowed away.

The waters covered the house and the man was forced to sit on his chimney as the rain poured down and a helicopter came by and another man urged him to get in or he'll drown. "No thank you," the man said again, "The Lord will save me!"

After much begging and pleading the man in the helicopter gave up and flew away. The waters rose above the chimney and the man drowned and went to heaven where he met God.

"Lord, I don't understand," he told Him, frustrated, "The waters rose higher and higher and I waited hours for you to save me but you didn't! Why?"

The Lord just shook his head and said, "What are you talking about? I sent two boats and a helicopter?!"

Gone

2010-07-31T21:51:00.002-04:00

It was about this time last year that I sat out on my front porch watching a young family move into the house across the street from me. It was a hot and muggy day, much like today, and I watched with fascination as the house came to life. It would be several more weeks till they actually began living there and I would get the chance to meet them. The young man was cutting the grass and his wife was scooping up the massive grass clippings by hand. I took them my rake and introduced myself to Chris and Meghan.

They moved back out this weekend and tonight the house sits lonely and sad, empty once again. I've tried not to look at it but for some reason, I can't not look. I did not know it this time last year, but that young family (2 year old daughter and two awesome dogs) would become a very important part of my life. Helping them move these past few days was pretty tough. I was glad to help them as I have done many times, but I also hated to see them go. They are back where they came from, the Lexington area, but only for a few brief months. Chris will be going into the Army come February and they will once again move, this time further away.

I'm sad tonight as I miss my friends, these very special people that oh so quickly came into my life and disappeared just as quickly. I know that what they have done is for the best but I can't help but be upset that I have lost two people who just seemed to mean more to me than any I had met in years and years. We'll stay in touch and watch our lives change via facebook but from now on, I won't be able to just walk across the street and feel like I am home.

Coming Out, Sort Of

2010-07-20T19:17:00.002-04:00

More and more, I've found myself thinking about religion and what it all means for the way the World works. I often wonder who the first human being was that looked around and decided that the only way things could be explained was by making up some story about a higher being. History is full of human beings living their lives according to one faith or another. I have no idea how many religions there really are, but I suspect it's in the thousands. Each is a little bit different, some more crazy than the others, but when you get right down to it, it all seems pretty silly.

Nearly every single setback in human history has been the result of one religion or another, often times all of them. The Catholics hated the Protestants, the Jews hate the Muslims, the American Christian Taliban hates the Muslim Taliban and nearly everyone hates the Scientologist. Wars have been fought over which religion was right and who's God was more holy. Millions and millions have been killed all in the name of God. We've destroyed the planet because the Bible tells us to have dominion over the planet.

Imagine where we would be were it not for the Dark Ages, that time of anti-science thinking that set humanity back hundreds and hundreds of years. We might be exploring other stars and planets by now instead of being happy with a space station in low Earth orbit. We probably could have cured cancer, stopped heart disease and made contact with some other civilization. But we will never know because the church held us back and it's taken centuries to recover.

Now, as is pretty evident by just opening your eyes, the worst elements of religion seem to be taking over once again. One need look no further than Sarah "Fucking Idiot" Palin to grasp how scary this is. She is adored by the most religious people in this country and is seen as some sort of savior, here to bring God back into our schools, our homes, our communities and our laws. It doesn't matter that our Founding Fathers, especially Thomas Jefferson, had absolutely no use for religion.

If you are on Facebook you probably know what I'm talking about. I can't tell you how many messages I get from otherwise sane people asking me to pray for this or that. When someone tells me that they are praying for me, I want to tell them "thanks for doing nothing". I don't say anything of course but if I were to comment on the offending post I would be branded a heretic and told that I was going straight to hell. Heck of a religion you guys have there, one that wants to damn people to an eternity of misery.

So, today I am taking the plunge and officially announcing that I am an Atheist. I do not believe in God, none of them, but that doesn't make me an evil person. When is the last time you read about an atheist going on a shooting spree because voices told him to? Anyways, coming out as an Atheist is not an easy thing to do in this country. If I were living in France or the Netherlands, people would react with a yawn and say "what took you so long." In America, it will get you uninvited from "Good Company".

Listen Up

2010-07-14T22:18:00.003-04:00

One of the great medical inventions of recent years is the Cochlear Implant, a device which helps most totally deaf people hear. I've had several students who use them and I can honestly say that they do work, though results certainly do vary from person to person. Anyways, watch these two short videos of Jonathon, an 8 month old deaf child who has recently been given the implants. In these videos, the device is turned on for the first time and the expression on this boys face when he hears his Mother's voice for the first time (the second video shows his left ear being activated and it works much better) just brings a tear to your face...

And here is another video of a different child having his activated...

Still Here

2010-07-13T23:06:00.002-04:00

I'm still here, just feeling a bit down lately and no one needs to read that crap. It's been so freaking hot and humid and I just can't stand to even be outside. When that happens, well, it's not good. Hopefully these next few days, in which I have lots to do, will help change my mood.

Facebook Faithful

2010-07-05T22:24:00.004-04:00

Facebook is full of religious fanatics who think nothing of putting up the latest Bible verse or asking the rest of us to pray for something. Now were I to put up a post about
atheism or or something negative about religion in general, I'd probably catch all kinds of hell. Alas, I'm okay with that and feeling up to the challenge. Anyways, here are a few cute cartoons for your pleasure...

I've Done My Part

2010-07-03T00:34:00.003-04:00

My DNA ends with me and of that I am very happy. All of the problems that we are facing today, from a crashing economy to the disaster in the Gulf of Mexico, are the result of having 6.5 billion people on this planet. In short, that's about 6.5 billion too many and if there is any hope for the rest of what lives on this planet, we must go quietly into the night...

Me

2010-06-30T22:01:00.002-04:00

I did something similar to this on my old blog and since I never got around to moving all that stuff over here, I have an excuse to do an all about me post...

Birthdate: January 2, 1970

Place of Birth: Hunter Air Base Army Hospital, Savannah, Georgia

Given Name: Gregory William Armstrong (Mom and Dad liked the name Greg and William was my Dad's middle name)

Current Name: Kelly Joann Armstrong (That was the name that Mom and Dad had picked out along with the given one. Mom and Dad liked the name Kelly and Joann was my aunts middle name. Taking it was the least I could do.)

High School: Countryside High School in Clearwater, Florida. Class of 1988.

College: University of Kentucky in Lexington. Class of 1992 with a degree in History.

Graduate School: University of Louisville in Louisville. Class or 2003 with a Masters Degree in Special Education, Moderate and Severe Disabilities with a Rank I in Autism and Assistive Technology. Graduated first in my class.

Career: Special Education Teacher in a Functional Mental Disabilities Class. Next year will be my 10th year of teaching.

Places I've Lived: Savannah, Manhattan Kansas, Petersburg Virginia, Anchorage Alaska, Colorado Springs, Colorado, Louisville Kentucky, Clearwater Florida, Lexington Kentucky, Louisville again, Snowshoe West Virginia and Louisville again.

Best Place I've Ever Lived: Snowshoe, West Virginia. Located 4848 feet on top of Cheat Mountain, I worked at The Red Fox, one of the nations finest restaurants. I averaged about 100 days a winter on the slopes. As much as I loved the skiing and winter, summer was in many ways the best part of living there. The crowds were gone and the weather was always nice and cool.

States I've Been To: Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, Arkansas, Tennessee, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York, Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Missouri, Kansas, Colorado, Utah, Idaho, Washington and Alaska.

Five States I'd Most Like To Visit That I Haven't: Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Montana and California

International Places I've Been: London and other parts of England, Toronto, Windsor Canada, Calgary and Banff.

Five International Cities I'd Like To Visit That I Haven't: Melbourne, Hong Kong, Moscow, Tokyo and Vancouver

Airports I've Flown In or Out Of: Louisville, Lexington, Atlanta, St. Pete/Clearwater, Tampa, Charlotte, Greensboro, Raleigh/Durham, Washington Dulles, New York Laguardia, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Detroit, Chicago O'Hare, Chicago Midway, St. Louis, Seattle, Anchorage, Calgary, Toronto and London Gatwick.

Subways/Metros I've Been On: New York, Washington, Atlanta, Chicago and London.

Mountains or Beaches: Mountains

East Coast or West Coast: East Coast of course.

Winter or Summer: Winter

Snow or Sun: Snow

Five Ski Resorts I Most Want To Ski: Mad River Glen in Vermont, Whistler/Blackcomb in British Columbia, Jackson Hole in Wyoming, Crested Butte in Colorado and Big Sky in Montana.

Five Quirks I Have: I always sleep with one leg out from under the cover, I always shave my right leg first and my left underarm first, I put my right shoe on first but tie my left shoe first, I put mascara on my left eyelash first and I always taste my side dishes before the entree.

PC or Mac: Mac of course.

Favorite Television Show: Now that Lost is finished, I'd have to say that my new favorite is The Big Bang Theory.

Favorite Radio Station: 91.9 WFPK, one of the three public radio stations in town.

Favorite Book: 1984 by George Orwell. It's truly frightening.

Favorite Movie: Impossible to pick just one but any top five list, no matter the day I'm doing it, would include Blade Runner.

Religious: Ah, No, not in the least.

Favorite Thing in Life: Dogs of course. No truer love exists than that of the dog for it's owner.

Craziest Thing I've Ever Done: On a whim, I quit my job, put just about everything I owned in storage, loaded up my car and moved to the mountains.

Strange Fact: I once had a one night fling with a girl who was a week away from her wedding. At the time, I didn't know she was getting married in a week, but it wouldn't have mattered. I wasn't the one cheating.

Strange Fact 2: I wasn't able to quit sucking my thumb till my mid 30's.

Strange Fact 3: While living in West Virginia, I came face to face with black bears, bobcats and coyotes and was never scared. A mouse runs in front of me and I scream like a teenage girl out of fear.

Greatest Fear: The very real possibility that I will one day be the last living member of my family and thus be all alone.

Greatest Hope: That when I die, someone will say that I did good, that the world is a better place because I was once here.

Final Resting Place: I've let it be known that when I die, I want to be cremated and have my ashes mixed with those of my three beloved dogs (Sammy, River and Shadow) where we will be scattered at Dolly Sods, West Virginia atop Cabin Mountain.

I Miss The 80's- Well, Maybe Not The Fashion

2010-06-29T22:31:00.015-04:00

I guess we thought we were cool but looking back, a lot of it was pretty horrible though not nearly as bad as things were for us in the 70's. I give you some of the best of the 80's...

I suppose that every single teenager during the 80's wore acid washed jeans. They were quite popular but it still doesn't make it right...

Of course they weren't nearly as bad as Parachute Pants. I'm ashamed to admit that yes, I did have a pair. I remember the first day I wore them to school (7th grade) it was snowing something fierce and the school bus I was on slid off the road into someones front yard. I never did make it to school that day and it was a cold walk back home wearing those parachute pants...

Okay, guilty on the Members Only jacket as well...

Okay, guilty on another travesty, the friendship pins. For those who weren't around back then, you took these pins with the little beads and put them on your shoelaces...

Oh my, guilty again on the jeans rolled up as tight as you could get them...

Okay, this one I'm kind of proud of as I still think they are kind of cool. I probably had about a dozen different Swatch watches, sometimes wearing more than one at once...

I don't know what's worse, that I used to wear these (in my boy days) or that I still see them from time to time today...the knit tie...

Okay, now we get into the clothes I always wished I was wearing and that starts with the stirrup pants...

Followed closely with the oversized shirt made famous by Jennifer Beals in Flashdance...

I was always jealous of the girls who got to wear the Add a Bead necklaces. Mom had one and I would try it on when no one was home...

Just about every girl that I knew wore Ankle Socks at one time or another. Alas, I didn't get to...

When Madonna first burst onto the scene, teen girls everywhere tried hard to copy her look...

I Miss The 80's The Movie Edition

2010-06-28T23:16:00.002-04:00

Some clips from movies that stood out to me...

Who can possibly forget Long Duck Dong in 16 Candles...The Donger need food...

One of the two or three best war movies ever, Full Metal Jacket...

One Crazy Summer...

Who knew that Sean Penn would become someone other than Spicoli...

I love the ending to Full Metal Jacket...

Until I saw The Hangover last year, I had never laughed so hard in a theater as I did during this scene from Planes, Trains and Automobiles...

Who didn't want to have a friend like Ferris Bueller...

Love the guys at the bar in Weird Science...

Heather's was one of the most biting movie of the decade...

Less Than Zero

Back To School...

Pump Up The Volume...

If you were alive during the 80's, you remember the constant threat of nuclear war. We all knew it was possible and actually quite likely but thankfully it never came. This scene from War Games is pretty intense...

I Miss The 80's The Music Edition

2010-06-28T22:45:00.003-04:00

I'm a product of the 80's, having come of age during that incredibly whacked out decade. I graduated high school in 1988 and can vividly remember the big hair, awesome clothes, great movies and most of all, the music. I remember the first time I saw the video for Kids In America by Kim Wilde. I so totally wanted to be her in every way possible. I knew every word from the song and knew exactly how to pout like she did. Here are some of my favorites...

Kim Wilde's Kids in America (this was my all time favorite from the 80's)

The Go Go's We Got The Beat

Oingo Boingo's Dead Man's Party

Bananarama's Cruel Summer (Totally love the hair and clothes)

Wall of Voodoo's Mexican Radio

Blondie's Call on Me

Rick Springfield's Jessie's Girl

The Beastie Boy's Brass Monkey

Pet Shop Boy's It's A Sin

Summer Solstice

2010-06-21T17:46:00.004-04:00

Today is the first day of summer for those of us in the northern hemisphere. For the past 3 months, the sun has been moving higher in the sky and the days have gotten longer and longer. We are currently at the maximum amount of daylight. Here in Louisville, that means the sun will shine for 15 hours and 52 minutes with the sun disappearing behind the horizon at 9:41 PM. Beginning tomorrow, the days will once again begin to get shorter as we move towards autumn.

In Louisville, the sun will shine for 2 seconds less than it did today. We won't lose any time in the evening till July 4th when sunset will start to get earlier each day. Until then, the loss is measured during the morning. Aside from the miserable weather we tend to have this time of year, it really is pretty awesome having the sun hang out till almost 10. By the first day of winter, it will be dark by 5:30 in the afternoon.

Here is a nice snapshot of the longest day of the year...

In Barrow, Alaska, the northernmost American city, the sun hasn't set since May 10th and won't again till August 1st. Further south, in Fairbanks, the sun does technically set for an hour or two but it only dips slightly below the horizon and it remains daylight all night. In fact, here is a cool snapshot of the current forecast for tonight in Fairbanks where it is forecast to be MOSTLY SUNNY with isolated thunderstorms...

What's The Matter? Jack Bauer Not Available?

2010-06-20T12:15:00.002-04:00

From the You Can't Make This Shit Up department comes this little gem from CNN: Louisiana lawmakers have called for a Day of Prayer to stop the ongoing oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. I guess Jack Bauer wasn't available to torture the well into submission. I'm going to go bang my head against the wall now.

16 Years To The Day...

2010-06-17T23:18:00.001-04:00

and it is still the most surreal thing I've ever seen in my life. The Juice was on the loose on this date in 1994...

How Does Your Garden Grow Part 2

2010-06-16T21:33:00.018-04:00

I posted some pictures of my emerging garden a couple months ago and thought I would share some updated scenes.

Here is a before picture of my raingarden...

Here is a picture from today...

Here is a picture of some of my flower pots just days after planting them...

Here is a picture of them today...

Here are some other views of the front yard...

Here is a picture of a few of my backyard flower pots...

Here is a picture of some of the bamboo I'm growing to hide my garage...

Another view...

And more...

This bamboo grew to this height in about a week...

Here is a picture of the side of my house where I get almost zero sun. I've planted ground cover and Hosta's, all of which are doing wonderful...

This last picture is my compost pile. I've got some really great compost that is just itching to get into a garden. I'm going to build some raised beds for next year and this compost will be great for the veggies I'm planning on growing...

Happy Birthday Mom

2010-06-14T22:39:00.002-04:00

Today is my Mothers birthday and though it wasn't a perfect day (inside story), it was still great getting to spend it with her. I hope you had a wonderful birthday and know that I love you very, very much. Thanks for being so special.

Love,
Kelly

Well That Doesn't Look Good

2010-06-13T22:48:00.002-04:00

This should be fun...

Insanity

2010-06-12T22:21:00.002-04:00

In a sane world, a disaster like that being played out in the Gulf of Mexico would spur this country to commit to fundamental change in the way we live. Sadly, we don't live in a sane world and it's becoming increasingly clear that those most affected by this disaster (aside from the millions of animals that will die), the residents of Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama are more than eager to double down on offshore drilling.

What the fuck is wrong with this country? Seriously folks, what the fuck is wrong with this stupid fucking country we live in? It's enough to make my head freaking explode. Simply insane.

RIP

2010-06-10T22:21:00.002-04:00

I weep for Planet Earth. Do we not realize that we have no where else to go? If there is a God, have mercy on our souls.

Not Helping Matters

2010-06-05T22:14:00.003-04:00

When I read shit like this, it just makes my blood boil. For way too long, the folks who identify as transgender or TG have done more to set back equal rights than the religious right ever could. When I was trying to work things out with work, my biggest obstacle was trying to overcome the negative stereotypes put forth by the crossdressers, genderqueer and those not interested in correcting what was wrong at birth. To way too many people, the image of those of us who are trying to fully transition to the gender in which we should have been born, is that of "the guy in a dress."

It was only after convincing them that I had no desire to go public with this, no desire to be a poster child for a cause and no desire to do anything but keep my job, all was fine. It's been three years and the whole thing has been a non-issue. So, when I see stupid shit like transgendered men, and that's what they are if they insist on doing shit like this, prancing around topless on a beach that isn't topless, well, fuck them. No one who is serious about transitioning and having surgery to fix things would ever go on hormones and then act like a guy at the beach. That they were actually prescribed hormones just takes the cake...

Rehoboth Beach in Delaware isn't a topless beach – but a few transgender men caused a stir by treating it like one. Police say passers-by complained after the men removed their tops and revealed their surgically enhanced breasts over Memorial Day weekend. A lifeguard asked them to put their tops back on. The men initially refused, but covered up before police arrived.

I'm sure it's only a matter of time till Autumn Sandeen of Pam's House Blend jumps to their defense as he is want to do.

3 Years

2010-06-05T10:21:00.002-04:00

Three years ago today, I was undergoing around 7 hours of surgery on my face. I don't remember much about that day, my last clear thoughts were of sitting in a chair and taking a pill to calm me down, but not a day has since gone by that I haven't thought of it. At the time, my Mother and I were totally convinced that we were doing the right thing and that it would be money well spent. We had confidence in Dr. Zukowski and believed that we had very realistic expectation so of how things would turn out. In short, it was a life changing event and for the better. Or so we thought.

Three years later, it remains the single biggest regret and mistake of my life. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about what a horrible mistake I made that sunny June afternoon. When Mom and I drove north to Chicago two days earlier, we were both a bit nervous but also pretty excited. I honestly had no illusions of greatness and to this day, I stand by my conviction that I had realistic expectations. I had viewed countless photographs of previous patients, talked to as many former patients as possible and done as much research as was humanly possible. I knew what I was getting into and what to expect.

Only what happened was as far from what I expected as could possibly be. Do I look different? Sure I do and if there has been one benefit it is that I do look younger, but the bad things have far outweighed the good. Three years out I'm still in a bit of pain, nothing severe, but a constant dull ached that reminds me of what happened. My nose drips continuously in the winter and stays clogged in the summer. I get nosebleeds for no apparent reason. My forehead feels tight and plastic. I still have damaged tissue lumps under my chin and jaw. The scar from my trachea shave looks horrible and it's almost impossible to smile.

As if that weren't enough, the whole point of the surgery was to make my face appear more feminine, something it hasn't done. When I look at pictures of some of his other patients, friends I have made online, I just want to cry as I don't understand what happened with me. Several of them are quite stunning and my results are in no way comparable to what they got.

It's all enough to make me wonder what the hell happened. By all accounts, the surgery went well and I made a pretty good recovery. Mom and I followed all of the post-surgery instructions and I've been back for several small touch ups and revisions. Still, for whatever reason, it just didn't work. I could live with that if that were the only concern, but the physical discomfort and pain have simply been too much to bear.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I could undo all of this, go back in time and not have this surgery. I so badly want my old face back, the sensation of being able to smile, move my skin and be free of pain. When I look in the mirror, all I want to do is smash it to pieces, so filled with rage to I become. I hate Dr. Z for what he did to me and I hate myself even more for what I did. There are often times when I wish that I had died on that operating table, so miserable has this all made me. Alas, I did survive and now I must live with what I have wrought.

The Photos BP Doesn't Want You To See

2010-06-03T17:53:00.002-04:00

What is it going to take to make people take to the streets? What will it take to make Oilbama take control of all BP North American Operations? What will it take to finally make this country realize that we have to change the way we live? If this doesn't do it, then the only thing that will is Peak Oil and trust me on that one, we really don't want to go there as that is going to result in the deaths of billions of people. It really is time for the human race to go quietly into the night...

Only When Necessary

2010-05-31T18:56:00.002-04:00

Today is Memorial Day in the United States and while we gather for cookouts, afternoons at the pool and family reunions, lets not forget the real reason for the holiday. My Father was a veteran of the Vietnam War, serving a one year tour of duty as a helicopter pilot. He left for Southeast Asia when I was just a few months old. I of course don't remember any of that but no doubt it was very hard on my Mother. Dad never talked much about the war or what it was like. I learned at a young age not to push it and generally let him be.

It was only later in his life, as his death approached, that he was finally ready to share what he did and saw all those years ago. It was, in short, the most horrific experience of his life, a view that is shared by any veteran of any war. War is sometimes necessary, look no further than World War II, but all too often, it is not. Politicians who never served a day in their lives have never been shy about sending young boys and now girls off to war where if they are lucky enough to survive, they are a mental mess for the rest of their lives.

It does not matter how justified the war is, for all are horrible and the experiences of combat veterans are nightmares that most of us are lucky never to experience. Still, despite the horrors of war, these brave young men and women are ready to serve so that others won't have to. They are the best of the best and they deserve so much more than a simple thank you. What they deserve most is never to be sent into harms way unless absolutely necessary. The ongoing carnage in Iraq and Afghanistan were never necessary. Bring them home now.

I Can't Help It, It's Funny

2010-05-27T21:55:00.002-04:00

The story and video of the two year old Indonesian boy who smokes 2 packs a day has taken the internets by storm. For the most part, it's caused a lot of outrage but come on, you have to admit that it is one of the funniest things you've ever seen. That being said, if I had a kid, I'd never let him or her smoke more than a pack a day...

I Once Was LOST But Now I'm Found

2010-05-24T21:38:00.006-04:00

In the fall of 2004, ABC broke all of the rules when it broadcast the pilot episode of LOST. At the time, I had no idea that it would come to so consume me and countless others. As I said yesterday, television is full of shit (American Idol), so when a show as special as LOST comes around, it's not surprising that it would become something of a cult. It all ended last night and after a sleepless night, I'm still as impressed by what I saw as I was when it first ended.

LOST has always been a character driven show and in the end, it was all about the characters, especially Jack. Along the way, it was easy to get caught up in the mysteries of the island but when you got right down to it, the stories of these incredibly flawed and tormented individuals were what drove the show. I'm not here to recap last nights finale, I think it's pretty clear what happened, but I will say that I'm not sure it could have ended any better than it did. NO, what I'm here to do is share a few of my favorite things from this six year journey...

Favorite Episode: Man of Science, Man of Faith- This is the premiere episode from season two in which we are treated to one of the best surprises of the entire show, the fact that someone, Desmond, was living in that hatch and pushing those damn numbers every 108 minutes. Here is the opening sequence to Lost at it's best...

Runner Up: Through The Looking Glass- This season three finale is perhaps the darkest episode in the Lost timeline. Jack is finding his life spiraling out of control as he becomes addicted to drugs and alcohol. As his world, in an apparent flashback, falls completely apart, we find out in the end that what we are seeing is actually taking place after leaving the island, the first use of a flashforward. Here is a clip of the surprise ending...

Favorite Character(s): Desmond Hume and Juliet Burke. From the first time we met Desmond, I knew that he was important, I just didn't know why or how. Juliet, well, who couldn't love sweet Juliet, especially Juliet and Sawyer.

Desmond Hume

Juliet Burke

Favorite Island Mystery- The numbers of course. One of my favorite things about each episode was looking for references to the numbers 4 8 15 16 23 42. That the candidates to replace Jacob were each assigned one of these numbers was brilliant.

Here is a brief clip of Hurley riding through the Sydney airport...

Here is a clip of the season one finale when Hurley sees the numbers written on the hatch door...

Least Favorite Island Mystery- Why Walt was special. He wasn't.

The World According To Sawyer...

Best Quote- John Locke to Jack Shepard: "Why do you find it so hard to believe?"

Here is the clip...

Best Use of Music- The best was by far Make Your Own Kind of Music by Mama Cass. It played in the opening sequence of season two premiere seen above. The runner up would have to be the premiere episode of season three when Juliet puts in the Petula Clark CD Downtown. Here is the clip...

I could go on and on but I don't want to bore you. So, I'll just leave you with the wise words of one Desmond Hume..."see you in another life brotha"

This Is The End

2010-05-23T19:29:00.002-04:00

It's been one hell of a ride, one of the most amazing journeys that I have ever been on and tonight, at 9 eastern, it all comes to an end. There is a lot of crap on television (American Idol comes to mind) but every now and then, something magical comes along that reminds us of what makes television so wonderful. LOST has captivated me and so many others for six years. I've watched every episode live, never relying on the DVR to record and watch later. I've followed the blogs, read the books and bought the merchandise and now that it's all ending, I'm filled with mixed emotions.

I'm ready for closure and yet I suspect I'll shed a tear or two tonight as things fade to black. The finale can't possibly live up to the hype, they never do, but no matter how it all ends, I'll be happy. So, as we bid farewell to the very best television series ever made, I say thank you to this wonderful collection of actors, writers, producers and creators. Thanks for the ride and know that we'll miss you so.

Obama is Fucking This Up Big Time

2010-05-20T21:00:00.002-04:00

This fucking disaster in the Gulf of Mexico shows absolutely no signs of ending anytime soon. I'm still not sure that most people understand how horrible this is. Up to s much as 100,000 barrels of oil continue to gush into the Gulf each day and now it looks like the oil has been picked up by the Gulf Loop and is heading towards the open Ocean where it will wreck untold hell upon sealife and beaches everywhere, possibly as far away as Europe.

What is making it even worse is the piss poor response from President Obama. It's been clear for quite some time that this President doesn't have a backbone and doesn't know how to live. It's so damn disappointing as I, like so many others, had so much hope. He is more content to stay behind the scenes and not take a stand on anything. Letting BP handle this disaster is political suicide and is doing nothing but make things worse.

Grow a pair Obama and take over this whole operation before the Gulf of Mexico is gone forever. Seriously, grow a fucking pair or your term in office will be quite short.

Early and Often

2010-05-18T12:23:00.002-04:00

It's election day here in Kentucky and there are two big races for those of us in Louisville. In the Democratic Primary for United States Senate, Attorney General Jack Conway is a real progressive and the best candidate for Senator. His opponent, Lt. Governor Dan Mongairdo is a homophobe and DINO. On the Republican side, well it's crazy versus even crazier.

Locally, the other big race is for Mayor of Louisville. The winner of the Democratic Primary is almost guaranteed to be elected come November so this one is not to be missed. I'll be voting for the most progressive candidate in the race, Tyler Allen. He's not going to win but the others haven't earned my vote.

Remember, vote early and often.

It's All So Depressing

2010-05-13T21:54:00.002-04:00

Reading the news just gets worse and worse each day. What a fucking mess we find ourselves in. I got nothing else.

Thoughts On A Disaster

2010-05-03T21:04:00.003-04:00

The unfolding disaster in the Gulf of Mexico is quickly turning into the worst man made natural disaster since Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I don't think that people really grasp the magnitude of what is happening and how horrible it all really is. If the current desperate effort to plug the wellhead doesn't work, the leak could continue till at least July and possibly later. If that worst case scenario happens, damage will be in the hundreds and hundres of billions of dollars with untold generational damage. The fish stocks of the Gulf would be totally wiped out, tourism would crash, the fragile wetlands that protect the mainland from hurricanes would be lost forever and the economy of the United States and possbily the world could plunge back into a deep recession.

I mention these worst case scenarios because they are sadly, the most likely. No one really has a freaking clue how to stop this thing and with each passing day, it appears that the leak is increasing in volume. So, as we take stock of what is happening, just who exactly is to blame for all of this? For that, just read on...

1. British Petroleum (BP) is ultimately the one responsible for cleaning up this mess but don't think for a minute that they will really pick up the tab. A 1990 law caps the liability at $75 million. I assure you, they won't pay a penny more. In addition to BP, Halliburton will also be on the hook as they are the ones that built the rig and drilled the well.

2. All of us are really responsible. Each time we fill up our tanks with cheap gasoline, we contribute to the death of this planet. Our addiction to oil is worse than that of a crack addicts need for his next fix. The fossil fuel industry is dirty and dangerous and until we move away from this form of energy, we will continue to see accidents like this one and the disaster in the West Virginia coal mine last month.

3. The fact that we are forced to drill for oil in the deepest depths of the ocean tells you all you really need to know about the state of oil production in the world. All of the easy stuff has been taken and to feed our addiction we are sticking the straw down into the hard to get sections. We are on the downward slope of oil production and as we move further and further away from Peak Oil, it will become increasingly more difficult to meet our needs. We have two choices here, we can "drill baby drill" and get absolutely nowhere or we can make a full fledged effort to find other energy sources.

4. My bet is that we will embrace the "drill baby drill" mantra. Sadly, President Obama has his head up his ass and is blowing a prime opportunity to have the real kind of change that he campaigned on. His boneheaded decision to open up offshore areas to drilling is coming back to bite him in the ass. This might be a once in a lifetime opportunity to affect real change but as Obama has shown so many times, he won't go for it.

Here are a few pictures to help bring home the disaster that is happening...

Prodigal Sons

2010-04-27T22:21:00.001-04:00

I'm really looking forward to seeing this new film by Kimberly Reed. An unflinching look at her life as the star quarterback of her high school football team and the emotional turmoil of being born the wrong way. The documentary also focuses on the lives of her two brothers, one adopted and the other not. The adopted brother was involved in a car wreck at age 21 and had to have part of his brain surgically removed. He also turns out to have quite the famous birth parents. Her other brother recently came out as a gay man and this all plays out against the backdrop of Reed's 20th high school reunion. Coming home to Montana, Reed finds that her old classmates are just fine with her new gender. Here is a short video from Reed that is playing on CNN...

I think what excites me most about this is that one of our own is telling this story. I suspect there won't be the crazy shots of putting on makeup and walking around in high heels. Thank God. On a side note, I sure to wish I looked as good as she does. I don't know what else to do but no matter how hard I try, I just can't pull this off. Ugh.

6 Months

2010-04-26T21:48:00.002-04:00

Six months ago today, my Father passed away after a long illness. I honestly can't believe that it's been that long but as I get older, time does seem to pass much faster. Dad lived almost a thousand miles away so I didn't get to see him as often as I would have liked. Because of that, him being gone is a bit different than had he lived a few miles away. That doesn't mean I don't miss him dearly, I do, but it does make it different. I keep wanting to pick up the phone and give him a call but that is never going to happen again.

So, on this somber day, I've dealt with my grief the only way I know how, by myself. I miss you Dad and not a single day goes by that I don't think about you. I keep your memory alive and that is all I can do. I hope you know that I loved you very much.

Hot

2010-04-21T21:44:00.002-04:00

I love Tuesday nights as Lost, my favorite television show of all time airs at 9 eastern on ABC. It's followed by V, a remake of the 1980's sci-fi and geek certified miniseries. The show is pretty good but even if aliens aren't your thing, it's worth checking out just to watch Mark Hildreth as Joshua, the chief alien doctor. Seriously, could this man be any hotter? Hot I say, hot...

Words That Are Transphobic

2010-04-19T21:44:00.001-04:00

Saw this on the Always Aroused Girl blog...

How Does Your Garden Grow?

2010-04-15T21:33:00.004-04:00

I took these pictures today and I thought I would share them with you...

Mish Mash

2010-04-10T21:30:00.003-04:00

Just some things I wanted to throw out..

1. It was three years ago this week that I legally changed my name. In a lot of states, it's a pretty difficult process but here in Kentucky, or specifically Louisville, it couldn't be any easier. I had to go down to the main courthouse, fill out a form, let them make a photocopy of my birth certificate, make a check out for $50 and two days later, my name change order came in the mail. No going before a judge, no red tape, no harassment and no big deal. By the way, for those that don't know, my name was Gregory William. My Mom and Dad didn't know if I was a boy or girl and so they had names picked out for either gender. They just liked Gregory and William was my Dad's middle name. If I had been born a girl (duh), it was going to be Kelly Joann. They just liked Kelly and Joann was my Aunt's middle name. I honored their wishes by going with what they had picked out. It was the least I could do.

2. My 9 day spring break is down to one day. Not sure how these things go so quickly but they do. If I can remember correctly, we have 34 days of school left. We had several snow days so it could have been less. Regardless, I'm not complaining as most people don't get 16 weeks of paid vacation a year. I take a lot of vacation because I get a lot of vacation.

3. Today was one of those postcard perfect spring days. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the temperatures were around 70 degrees. Throw in some bubbles and River (one of my Border Collies) and you have endless fun.

4. This summer will mark the three year anniversary of my facial feminization surgery (FFS) with Dr. Zukowski in Chicago. I do look better and I certainly look younger but overall, it wasn't worth the money and will probably go down as the biggest regret of my life. All these years later, my face still feels funny and fake, and lets face it, it just didn't work. I've seen a lot of Dr. Z girls who turned out beautiful but in the years since, I've also seen some pictures of some really fucked up results. Wish I had known that when I was trying to pick a doctor. If you are considering FFS, think long and hard about the whole thing and seriously, look at as many pictures as you can find. I made the wrong choice in doctors and I can't do a thing about it. That sucks.

5. I chewed my fingernails down to the nub today. When I have them painted I don't even notice them but when I don't have on polish, I chew away. Bummer.

6. Sarah Palin, the former half Governor of Alaska and noted palm reader, is still a fucking idiot.

7. My flower garden is looking pretty promising this year. I've planted some new perennials and laid down ten bags of mulch. I've got about 7 flower pots filled out and made up a couple of hanging baskets. Looks like everything survived the cold and snowy winter. It's so nice to see the trees all green again and everything in bloom. Love this time of year. I'll take some pictures tomorrow and get them up on here.

8. I keep wanting to pick up the phone and call my Dad. It's been almost 6 months since I lost him and I think about him everyday. I miss him lots.

9. I'm looking forward to getting back up to the mountains this summer. I miss West Virginia so much.

10. If you aren't watching The Pacific on HBO, you are missing out. All of the veterans of World War II had it pretty tough but these guys who fought in the Pacific just might have had it the worst. It's hard to fathom that they will all be gone soon.

11. Sarah Palin, yep, still a fucking idiot.

The One Constant Through All The Years Has Been Baseball

2010-04-05T12:40:00.002-04:00

Today is one of the most sacred days of the year, Opening Day for baseball. As a child, my hero's were more likely than not, baseball players. I can see them all now, George Foster, Johnny Bench, Pete Rose, Joe Morgan, Dave Concepcion....members of the Big Red Machine, the most dominant team in the history of the game. I fell asleep listening to the radio broadcasts of the Cincinnati Reds, the lyrical voices of Marty and Joe. In just a few short minutes, as it is always done, my Reds will open the Major League Baseball Season and for one short day, hope springs eternal.

Spell It Out

2010-04-03T12:33:00.003-04:00

Just in case you didn't notice, and it seems that one of my dear friends didn't, my post from Thursday was nothing more than a April Fools Day joke, a lame one at that, but still a joke. If you go back and look at the post, you'll see some of the letters in bold. Spell them out and all is revealed.

About Face

2010-04-01T17:46:00.005-04:00

Well, Apparently it will take me a few days to get it Put together and up and Running, but I will soon be closing down this blog and publishing a new one, this one called Greg's So Called Life. After talking it over with my therapist and Family, I'm calling it quits On this transition Of mine. I've tried to make the most of things and I've met so many people that I just Love but Surprisingly, this wasn't for me. I kind of suspected that this Day might come A calling, but You never really know. Thanks for coming along on this interesting ride and be on the lookout for the new blog should you be so inclined.

The Government Can't Do Anything Right, Except When It Does

2010-03-28T17:11:00.003-04:00

I love hearing the Teabaggers and other conservatives rail against "big government". To hear them tell it, the government couldn't do anything right, especially deliver health care. It's been fascinating watching the stories come out this week about various Teabagger leaders, all calling for the government to get off my back, being on social security and disability, not to mention medicare and medicaid. Anyways, here is a little story about a girl named Kelly...

In 1969, the government was finally recognizing that smoking cigarettes was not only dangerous to your health, but also to the health of your fetus. Because of this, my Mother didn't smoke or drink while pregnant with me. I was born on January 2, 1970 at Hunter Air Base in Savannah, Georgia. The US military hospital that I was born in was run and funded by the government. The cost of my birth to my parents? One dollar. As a small child, we moved around a lot but the moving expenses were always picked up by the Army. We always lived on post, in military housing, always at a steep discount.

As I grew older, I began to attend public schools where I received an excellent education. Upon graduation from high school, I was accepted to and attended the University of Kentucky, the largest public university in the state. The University was created by the state legislature under a 19th century federal land grant and is partially funded by tax dollars. All of my professors were employees of the state government. While there, my health care was provided by University Health Services. If I got sick, I simply went to the University Clinic.

During my lifetime, I've flown on airplanes more times than I can count. I never once feared for my safety because of my faith in the government air traffic controllers. I also knew that my airplane had to meet very tight safety standards established by the Federal Aviation Administration. When I did fly, I would always drive to the airport on government built and funded roads. Those roads were safe because federal engineers had helped design them. The car I was driving was among the safest in the world because the US government mandates that auto companies build cars to rigid safety standards.

I bought my first home five years ago and received a first time home buyers credit and was financed through the Kentucky Housing Corporation, a government entity. I know that my home is well built because of local building standards enforced by local government. When I turn on my television, I'm pretty sure it won't explode because all appliances have to meet federal regulations. One of my favorite things to do is surf the web. I do that by logging onto an internet that was created by government workers at the Pentagon.

I don't really fear for my safety as it's a pretty safe neighborhood. If trouble were to arise however, I know that the Louisville Police Department, a local government agency, will be there to protect me. I also know that fire is unlikely because all of my furniture is designed to meet strict anti-fire standards set by the government. Still, fires do happen, but the Louisville Fire Department, another public service provider, is located just 2 blocks away.

I am one of those people who is blessed to have found a career that makes me happy. I teach school in a public elementary school. I get paid by the state and that paycheck makes it into my bank, which is federally insured, every two weeks. When I retire, I'll have a state pension to depend on and be eligible for medicare, the federal health insurance program for the elderly.

When I go on vacation, I love to escape into the woods and do some camping. I almost always choose a National Forest that is managed by and protected by the federal government. When I fill up my car with gasoline to go on vacation, I know that I'm getting exactly as much fuel as the pump says. Why? Because the state monitors all gasoline stations.

When I'm at home, I love to visit the great city parks here in Louisville. All of Metro Parks is run by the local city government. The parks are well maintained, safe (those police again) and a great way to unwind after watching the news on a broadcast wavelength provided to the station by the federal government.

I usually go out to eat a couple nights a week, nothing big, but still a nice treat. I don't worry about getting food sickness, not with the FDA and USDA monitoring food inspection. I also know that the local health department does surprise inspections of all restaurants and ensures that I am eating in a clean and safe environment. The fire marshal tends to visit from time to time make sure the restaurant is built to code and that it isn't violating any safety standards.

The water that gets served with my food is tasty, very tasty. It comes out of the tap and flows from the Ohio River after being treated by the Louisville Water Company, a publicly owned utility. The EPA and Clean Water Act makes sure that the water is safe to drink.

I have some really serious seasonal allergies and as a result, I have to take medicine to keep it under control. The FDA did a lot of testing on that medicine before it could be sold on the market. Also, the EPA has overseen a program to reduce pollution in our cities and as a result, the air is much cleaner than it used to be.

This past winter brought a lot of snow. The city did a great job of plowing that snow and keeping the roads safe for all of us. The potholes that were created this winter are currently being fixed by the city and state. When it was cold, I was able to turn on my furnace to stay warm. The natural gas that heats my house was most likely mined on federal lands that were leased to oil and gas companies. It safely makes it's way to my house because of regulations on how pipelines must be built.

When my time on this planet is up, I can be buried if I so choose. I'll rest easy knowing that it's a crime to desecrate a grave. My family will rest easy knowing that the funeral home and cemetery must do things by the book. The court system will ensure that my estate is turned over to whomever I wish.

So yeah, I guess the Teabaggers are right. The government can't do anything. Except when they do.

The Teabaggers Are Who You Think They Are

2010-03-26T20:01:00.002-04:00

During the long debate over health care reform, the "elite"media kept saying that the program wasn't popular with the American people when nothing could be further from the truth. A large chunk of those who told pollsters that they were against the just passed health care reform bill were like me. They were against it because it didn't go far enough by including a single payer or public option. With the teabaggers, the same thing has happened again. The pea brains in the media just can't wrap their little minds around the fact that these people are crazy, are far right Republicans and are not representative of the coveted but very misguided independents.

Myth Number Two from comments: The Tea Party folks are Independent voters and over half of them are women. They voted the Republicans out of power based on the spending and wars issues.

There is a brand new poll out from The New York Times and CBS News and guess what, the teabaggers are exactly who we thought they were: FAR RIGHT REPUBLICANS.

Americans who call themselves "Tea Party members" in this poll:

• Mostly consider themselves Republicans – not independents - and most view the Republican Party favorably (62 percent).

• Are overwhelmingly negative about President Obama personally (80 percent); Americans overall are more favorable.

• Are more likely to think President Obama is working mainly on behalf of the poor, and not the middle class.

• Express nearly three times more anger toward Washington (45 percent) than Americans overall (17 percent).

• Are more likely to believe President Obama has already raised taxes, while most Americans do not.

In addition, the poll found the following...

Americans who identify themselves as Tea Party members are mostly from the South (37 percent) or the West (29 percent), and are older (59 percent say they are over age 45, compared to 50 percent of Americans.)

Tea Party identifiers are overwhelmingly white – 95 percent are white, compared to 77 percent of Americans.

Among those who've heard of the Tea Party movement, only a third thinks it reflects the views of most Americans while 42 percent say it does not.

Overall, 18 percent of Americans considers themselves a "member" of the Tea Party. (This is a self-identification not related to whether they have attended any rallies or events.) Tea Party ranks are dominated by Republicans: one-third of all the Republicans in this poll identify themselves as Tea Party members, as do one in five independents.

Ed Kilgore digs deeper into the poll and what he finds puts to rest any notion of this being a movement that hates both parties equally...

For all the talk of tea partiers being equally hostile to both major parties, 62% of them have a favorable view of the GOP, while only 9% have a favorable view of the Democratic Party. 80% have an unfavorable opinion of President Obama.

Are tea party enthusiasts anti-corporate "populists" who could theoretically be attracted to a more left-bent, populist Democratic Party? Doesn't look like it, since tea partiers are much more likely than Americans as a whole to oppose increased bank regulations, and nearly twice as likely to think Obama is prejudiced in favor of poor folks (not a compliment, given their general hostility to him). They are also much, much less likely to attribute the federal budget deficits they hate so much to the Bush administration. Nearly half of them erroneously believe the Obama administration has already raised taxes (again, not a good thing in their eyes).

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Just to make sure there isn't any confusion here about who these jackasses are, Tea Party darling and former Half Governor of Alaska, why speaking at a rally for John McCain today, said that "Everyone here today supporting John McCain, we are all part of that Tea Party movement." Got that? The woman who gets the teabaggers blood flowing says that all Republicans supporting John McCain are teabaggers.

Next up: They myth that they aren't violent.

The Teabaggers Are The Republican Party and Damn They Are a Bunch of Racist

2010-03-25T20:46:00.005-04:00

My last post about the right wing in America touched a real nerve with one of my readers. You can go to the comments section to read all about it but to really respond to this inane argument, I need to go all out and this is the result. Anyone who follows politics knows that America is about as polarized as it has ever been. Left and right are doing battle with the survival of this country hanging in the balance. If the left does not prevail here, well, it is the end of this great experiment begun so many years ago. This is not hyperbole or partisan rhetoric here, it is a battle for the survival of this Republic. If we win, America just might survive, if we lose, it really is over and then the world really goes to shit.

Let's take this one argument at a time here and document how my reader is wrong on every single count We'll tackle the racism argument first and tomorrow I'll post on the violence associated with the movement and the fallacy about who they are and what they stand for (hint: They are the Reublican Party). I'll also dive into the battle over defecits and why they don't matter.

1. You use a broad brush paint a picture of dangerous racism over a a bunch of people who want government waste to end and taxes to stop rising, based on some very isolated, and condemned, statements made by a very small number of people. Shame on you.

The teabagger movement is made up of one race and one race only, older white folks. Scan the crowd at any of these rallies and you will not see a face of color anywhere. Now why is this you ask? Well, because they are as blatantly racist as you can possibly get. This past weekend, teabaggers accosted Democrats on Capitol Hill calling them nigger and faggot. One member was spat on and as a result, security for Democrats has been incresed. Make no mistake about this, the teabaggers are mad because the make believe world that they live in isn't as lilly white as they thought it was. The election of a black man to the Presidency has brought out the true colors...

Embracing the freakshow at Politico
Washington Post documents the racism against Obama
Baltimore Sun editorial about racist teabaggers
Seattle Times editorial about racist teabaggers
Armed and racist teabaggers
John McCain's daughter calls teabaggers racist
Noose images sent to Cyburn

I could go on and on and on and on and on but you get the picture. Racism hangs heavy over everything the teabaggers do.

These are just a few of the signs featured at Tea Party rallies this year and last. For more, go here...

Right Wing America In All It's Glory

2010-03-21T12:45:00.004-04:00

Lest there be any doubt, the right wing of America has gone totally off the deep end and entered uncharted territory. Fed red meat by the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Glen Beck, the frothing mad and seriously deranged teabaggers have now shown their true colors and it is as ugly as I expected.

At a anti-health care rally at the Capitol, protestors hurled racial and homophobic slurs at Democratic members of Congress. Representative John Lewis (D-Georgia), a civil rights hereo, was repeatedly called nigger (lets not sugar coat this by using the less offensive N-word) by unhinged, right wing racist. Representative Emmanuel Cleaver (D-Missouri) was spat upon by others while Representative Barney Frank (D-Massachuesettes) was called homo and faggot, the last slur garnering a round of laughter.

Republican leaders, who had better watch out themselves as these crazies will soon turn on them, were quick to condem but stressed that it wasn't representative of the group as a whole. Bullshit. One look at any of these teabagger rallies tells you all you need to know. They are filled with angry white males, pissed off that America elected a black man as President. The crowds are 100% white, trend older and filled with hateful signs that don't bother to disguise the true hatred of those who like to tea bag. The only thing missing are the white hoods and burning crosses.

Make no mistake about this people, these crazed right wingers are a serious threat to this nation. They will stop at nothing to preserve their image of America. Think for a moment about what it is that they are so up in arms about. They are pissed that Democrats want to ensure health coverage for all Americans. Seriously, why does helping your fellow Americans so upset these people? Imagine if Obama really was the socialist they make him out to be. How long before they actually do break out their guns and start opening fire on anyone with an Obama bumper sticker? How long till one of them tries to kill Obama or other Democrats? At what point do we stop calling them crazed protestors and start calling them what they really are...Terrorist?

My Life Is A Trainwreck

2010-03-18T21:25:00.001-04:00

It really is.

One Sick Puppy

2010-03-17T21:52:00.003-04:00

For someone who is very good overall health (no major issues), I sure am sickly. I've spent most of the winter with congestion that would impress Atlanta drivers. I've had a bout of the flu, several nasty coughs and now what I can only describe as a brain cloud mixed with a sore throat. I've tried to let it run it's course this week but it just isn't getting any better. So, I'll be staying home from work tomorrow and heading to the doctor.

DeFriended

2010-03-15T21:51:00.002-04:00

Wow, Defriended on Facebook by my two best friends from high school. The shitty thing is, I didn't defriend them when they became raving mad conservatives. Seriously though, it does kind of hurt my feelings that my two best friends from that time, people that I would have thought would stand by me, ultimately decided that I was too much of a freak or something like that. Stay classy Rico and Kristen.

Secrets

2010-03-08T21:22:00.004-05:00

This weeks collection of postcards on Post Secret feature two trans related secrets. I find the first one rather amusing. I wonder how many women feel this way...

The second secret hits a bit close to home. I've made no secret about sometimes questioning my decision and while it's not that I feel like it was wrong, it's just that after spending all this money on FFS, clothing and everything else, I still look pretty much like I did when I began. In short, it couldn't have gone any worse in that department. Anyways, here it is in all it's glory...

This Too Shall Pass

2010-03-04T21:16:00.002-05:00

OK GO, the band behind the greatest music video of all time, have outdone themselves again and topped the infamous treadmill epic. Here it is, in all it's glory...

And here is Here it Goes Again...

Withdraw Sucks

2010-02-28T21:39:00.003-05:00

For two weeks, I've spent my evening glues to the television taking in the spectacle that is the Winter Olympics. It is by far my favorite sporting event and these particular games were as good, if not better, than any that I can remember. Now, as I watch the closing ceremonies, I can't help but feel a real sense of sadness. It will take a few days of not watching bobsled, skeleton, skiing and curling to get used to life the way it was before these games. So, as we end this great event, congrats to the city of Vancouver and the nation of Canada for putting on a great show. For two weeks, the World came together as one and we are all the better for it. See you in Russia in 4 years.

Men Do It Better, Most of The Time

2010-02-22T21:55:00.003-05:00

I've been watching the olympics every night and as usual, they have been simply fantastic. I have always been a big fan of the winter games, mostly because I like winter sports, but also because it doesn't have track and field. All that aside, I'm watching qualification for the men's freestyle aerial skiing. The women qualified yesterday and as impressive as they were, the men simply blow them off the snow. They get way higher on the takeoff, are able to complete many more turns, flips and rotations and generally just look better doing it.

Now I'm not trying to bash on my fellow ladies here, but I think that most people would agree that when competing at the top level, men will always outperform the women. Now obviously Serena Williams could beat most men at tennis but I would argue that she couldn't beat a single male who plays on the professional tour. The same could be said of any LPGA, WNBA or track and field athlete. Men are just made stronger, have larger bodies and sport more muscle.

So, my question is, is there a sport that anyone can think of where women perform as equals with men? Can you think of any sport in which the best women can not only compete with men but beat the best of the men? I can think of only one and it's a sport in which humans play only a small part. I'm speaking of course about horse racing. For the most part, racing segregates it's races along gender lines and lets the boys face the boys and the girls face the girls. But here's the thing, in most high level stakes races (Kentucky Derby, Breeders Cup Classic, etc.) the races are open to both genders and from time to time, a filly or mare comes along that leaves the colts literally eating her dust.

This past year, we saw that happen twice, with Rachel Alexander in the 3 year old classics (Preakness Stakes among others) and Zenyata, the wonder filly who beat the best in the world while winning the Breeders Cup Classic. This happens in no other sport that I can think of but I'm happy to be proven wrong. Anways, just something that crossed my mind as I watched these guys do some shit that I wish I could do.

Everybody Hurts

2010-02-20T21:55:00.002-05:00

To some extent, all of us have days where things just don't go well, where we wonder if it's all worth it. For others, myself included, those days are much more frequent and that much more difficult. I have made no secret of my long history of depression, sometimes bordering on complete insanity. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for years now and with the help of my therapist and some pretty good medication, I'm for the most part able to function relatively well.

Alas, from time to time, the meds seem to stop working and I go into a tailspin where my world comes crashing down on me. That happened this week and if truth be told, is still wrecking havoc on my life. Lately, it seems that the only time I'm happy is when I'm at work. I'm fortunate in that I have a job that I adore and I'm thankful for the respite that it gives me. The rest of my time, well, it's sometimes very difficult to simply get through the day. So, what exactly is bothering me? A lot actually and if you happen to care (I swear I'm not looking for sympathy here), read on...

1. I have a lot to be proud of. I own my own home, I just paid off my car today, I have a job that I love and 3 of the best dogs one could ever ask for. Still, it always seems that something is missing. That something is someone to share my life with. Now I've made no secret of my disdain for marriage, I can't imagine what kind of hell it must be, but it would still be nice to have someone to be intimate with from time to time. Sadly, I'm pretty sure that I'll spend the rest of my life alone and sometimes that's very depressing.

2. Mom. I lost my Father in October and it was crushingly hard to fathom life without him. The fact that he lived so far away and I didn't see him all that often has made it easier but losing a parent is never easy. I think about him everyday and I hope he knows that I loved him dearly and miss him much. As for Mom, she lives just a couple miles from me and we talk on the phone several times a day and get together for dinner, lunch or no reason several times a week, much more in the summer. She is in excellent health and I expect to have her around for quite a long time. But, the thought of losing her is always on my mind. She is my crutch and I do wonder if I will even be able to survive once she is gone. She tells me that I'll be fine, that I'm stronger than I imagine, but I'm not convinced.

3. My babies are starting to get old. Both Sammy and River are 10 years old and showing major signs of old age. River has pretty bad arthritis and Sammy has problems with his thyroid as well a propensity for non-cancerous tumors. Both have gotten a bit more grumpy and aren't afraid to show it. Shadow, my lab-mix, is about 7 years old and aside from a major seizure disorder, currently under control with medication, is in pretty good health. I can see the day when it will just be me and Shadow and that just breaks my heart.

I've had Sammy since he was 10 months old and he and I have been through so much together. Throughout everything, Sammy has been my one constant, always there for me and always eager to let me know that he loves me. I love him dearly and they say that all dog lovers have one lifetime dog, a dog that is so special that they can't imagine life without them. Sammy is that dog and I can't imagine life without him.

River came to me when she was 2 years old and quickly became a part of the family. She is as rotten as they come but I love her to death. She is actually a very sweet dog and seeing her deal with this arthritis has been very hard on me. I've let her get a bit over weight and that hasn't helped things. I have her on medication to control the pain and a supplement for her joints and we have lots of playtime and walks. I'll miss my Plump and Juicy when she is gone.

As for Shadow, well, I'm not sure that I've ever had a dog love me as much as this one does. When I adopted him from the humane society, he had been living at the shelter for almost a year. Someone had been paying to keep him alive and when I took him home, you could tell that he just didn't think it would work and he would once again be disappointed. Well, it's been 4 years now and he's still here and he is never more than a foot or so away from me.

These 3 are very special and I know that the day will come when they are gone. That brings big tears to my eyes and sadness to my heart.

4. I have a small group of really good friends but overall, I am lacking in this category. I'm not sure why, but I just don't have many friends and I get lonely as a result. I spend most of my free time at home, just me and the dogs, envious of those who have something exciting to do. It does get lonely and all that time to think is not a good thing.

There are other things on my mind, but those are the biggies and each promises to be with me for the rest of my life.

Certified Mail, Last Payment and Those Damn Numbers From Lost

2010-02-18T20:37:00.002-05:00

Some random thoughts...

1. When I opened my mailbox yesterday, the only thing in there was a note from the post office. Seems someone has sent me a certified letter and I wasn't there to receive it. No big deal, I can just stop by the post on my way home from work and pick it up. Well, I could if my identification still said Gregory instead of Kelly. You see, the letter was sent to my old name and so I'm going to have to get creative if I want to see what someone has sent me. If I'm reading it right, I can possibly request a second delivery where I authorize the carrier to just drop it in the box. It's all disconcerting to get something addressed to someone that doesn't exist anymore.

2. Speaking of mail, I received something rather nice today in the form of a maturity notice for my car payment. This is my very last payment on my Saturn Ion and marks another debt paid off. Now it's on to my surgery loan.

3. "Jacob had a thing for numbers"- Man In Black. If that's the only damn explanation I get for the meaning of the LOST numbers I'm going to put my foot through the television. The whole mystique of the numbers, 4-8-15-16-23-42, has been one of my favorite things about this amazing television show. I want answers and I want them now dammit. On a side note, I wonder how many people play those numbers each week in the lottery? My guess is quite a few.

4. With all of the snow on the ground and the days off from work, I've been pretty lazy about what I wear out. On more than a few occasions I've just gone out in a sweatshirt, jeans and hiking boots (no purse, earrings, makeup, etc.) only to be called "Miss" almost every time. When I went out fully as Kelly I got the "sir" almost every time.

I just can't seem to pull this off and I suspect I never will.

5. My dogs have had a really great week as they totally love the snow. I've thrown more balls than I care to remember but it's all been a lot of fun. When I sit back and think about it, it really is true that "It's a dogs life." I mean seriously, what's not to like? Sleep all day, play catch, go for walks and car rides, get tummy rubs, treats every time you come in the door, you can fart and no one thinks less of you. What a life.

6. Sarah Palin is still a fucking idiot.

Awesome

2010-02-14T21:12:00.001-05:00

Some people just can't drive in the snow...

Faster Than Even I Imagined

2010-02-08T21:34:00.003-05:00

With the election of Barack Obama as President, I honestly did think that we would have a brief return to prosperity, one last orgy of opulence before it all came crashing down for good. Alas, it's looking more and more like the party really is over. As I like to say, we all have front row seats to see how it all ends. Exciting times these are.

The 6 Weirdest Things Women Do to Their Vaginas

2010-02-01T20:12:00.003-05:00

Alternet has a great article up about the really weird things that (some) women do to their vaginias and it isn't pretty. I've never really understand why women want to mess with what is otherwise a pretty awesome piece of machinery. I'd give just about anything in the freaking world to have been born with one, flawed or not, so maybe I'm a bit biased here but seriously chicks, bleaching your vaginia? Seriously? Who does shit like that? For the life of me I can't figure it out but what do I know, I was born with all of the wrong plumbing. And why we are at it, will you all please stop with going bare down there. It's not sexy and it makes you look like your 13 or so.

1. Problem: Your Vagina Smells Bad. Solution: Vaginal Deodorant Most likely, it doesn't smell bad, it smells the way it is supposed to smell and trust me, guys love that smell.

2. Problem: Your Vagina is Dirty. Solution: Douching. The medical community says don't do it but women still do. Despite health concerns, manufacturers still churn out vaginal douches. Pick up a box of Summer's Eve Douche, and you'll find warnings that douching has been associated with PID (Pelvic Inflamatory Disease), ectopic pregnancy and infertility.

3. Problem: Your Vagina is Too Loose. Solution: Vaginal Rejuvenation. "Let's face it. Nature really screwed up when it made the vagina. Never mind that that it accommodates the birth of a child or that it's fundamentally better designed than male genitalia. (Who wants to carry their most sensitive reproductive organs on the outside?) While nature was busy dishing out things like multiple orgasms, it forgot to make vaginas vice-tight. Luckily, plastic surgeons have stepped in to put an end to womankind's collective suffering."

4. Problem: Your Vagina is Ugly. Solution: Labiaplasty. Ah, not it isn't. In my guy days, I saw a lot of vaginias and not a one of them was ugly. Sure, they all look a bit different but ugly, never.

5. Problem: Your Vagina Tastes Bad. Solution: Vagina Mints. Ah, no it doesn't and sticking sugar mints into your vagina is going to do one thing and one thing only, give you a yeast infection. I assure you, it tastes just fine the way it is.

6. Problem: Your Vagina is the Wrong Color. Solution: Vaginal Bleaching and Dying. Exactly what color is it supposed to be? Barbie pink? Only if you want to bleach it with products that are used in drain decloggers and septic tank cleansers. Stay away from anyone that says your vagina is the wrong color.

Refreshing

2010-01-31T21:54:00.002-05:00

It's refreshing to see an actress or model that doesn't look like the walking dead. Way too many famous females seem to think that they have to be a size 0 in order to be beautiful. Good for Christina Hendricks of Mad Men for looking absolutely stunning at the Director's Guild Awards...

Moving On and Shit That Needs To Be Said

2010-01-24T13:38:00.003-05:00

One of the first things one figures out when beginning transition is that it takes on a life of it's own. It is all consuming and no matter how hard you try, it just takes over your life. Eventually, the time comes when you begin to tire of the whole ordeal and you start to wonder if it will ever end. I hit that point last year and for the life of me, I want nothing more to do with any of this crap and that includes being associated in anyway with the "T" word.

I'm so ready to get on with my life and put this all behind me. What was once exciting and hopeful is now just dreadful and depressing. If I had to do it all over again, knowing what I know now, I'm not sure that I could find a way to do it. So, it's time, time for me to make a split and sever forever my ties with those who identify as "T". But before I go, I need to get a few things off my chest and it may not be pretty.

Perhaps the thing that pisses me off the most is the is the whole idea of the word "Transgender". I resent ever being grouped with the transvestites, the drag queens and kings and others whose gender identity was all over the freaking place. I am not one of you and you are not one of me. I do not support your cause nor your inclusion in civil rights legislation, yet alone your attempt to hijack the word transsexual.

When I was working with my employer over how to proceed with my transition, one of the great fears was the whole idea of the "man in a dress". Of men invading a woman's space, of men who get a thrill by wearing clothes that real women would never, ever wear. You made my life much more difficult than it needed to be and I can never forgive you for that. It took a lot of effort on my part to convince the powers that be that I was not that person and once they figured that out, everything fell effortlessly into place. So, I urge you all, go away and leave those of us who really are born with a medical condition the fuck alone.

Second, I so pity the professional transsexual. Please, for the love of God, get on with your life and start living as the man or woman you were supposed to be. Quit trying to tell those of us who just want to blend in that we are "sell outs" and "traitors". We are none of that and you know it. We are women and men who just want to live our lives the way they were supposed to be lived. That means not broadcasting to every single person who will listen that we are transsexual, that we were born with a penis.

Third, I think it might be time to question the whole alphabet soup thing. You will find few people who support the civil liberties of my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters more than I do. Many of my best friends identify as gay or lesbian and there is nothing that I wouldn't do to help them out in any situation. But the thing is, I'm not quite sure we really have all that much in common, yet alone a reason to be grouped together.

Now before I go any further, let me stress that a new generation of gay and lesbian leaders has emerged and they don't see the world the way the old guard does. If they are successful in taking the reign of the movement, than I will drop my concerns. My experience has shown that the old guard is dominated by the rich and oh so white older gay male. Many of them have little patience for those that fall under the LB or T umbrella. (I want to stress that there are always exceptions to the rule and it is so in this case too.)

They see the B and T holding them back and to an extent, I agree. It all goes back to my first point, the co-opting of the term "transgender" to include not just transsexuals and intersex individuals but also the transvestites and drag queens and kings. These people do nothing for our cause and yet they are so often the face of the movement. Again, I worked so freaking hard to overcome the image of the "man in the dress" so yeah, I say a big fuck you to you. Leave. Go away. Disappear. Whatever you do, stop trying to tag along, hijacking a legitimate medical condition.

Finally, I want to say thank you to several people who have been so amazing during this long and difficult journey. You know who you are but if you don't, here's a list...Erin, NexyJo, Kara, Amy, Anonymous T-Girl, KonaGod, Jacq, Missi and Stella. You are all very special people and I look forward to long friendships with all of you. Know that I love you all.

This Is The End

2010-01-21T20:52:00.002-05:00

Our Democracy was already a sham but today's Supreme Court ruling that throws out campaign finance reform really does put it out of it's misery. I cannot stress enough how horrible this is and if it doesn't piss you off, well, you have no soul. Corporations will now totally own this country and do as they fucking please. It's over, this grand experiment in Democracy as we slide into corporate fascism. RIP Democracy, RIP.

We Suck

2010-01-20T22:05:00.001-05:00

We, as in Democrats. Specifically, the ones we have living in The White House and the ones we have serving in Congress. Grow a pair already, you spineless bastards.

I Have A Dream

2010-01-18T21:50:00.000-05:00

Still not totally there but we are getting closer...

Help Haiti

2010-01-13T21:53:00.003-05:00

With Port-Au-Prince totally destroyed and the death toll possibly reaching half a million, the earthquake that struck Haiti yesterday will most likely surpass the Boxer Day Tsunami as the worst natural disaster of our lifetimes. Rescue efforts are ongoing and the United States is leading an international effort to come to Haiti's aid. If you are so inclined, please take a moment to donate whatever you can to whichever aid organization you feel comfortable donating to. Here is a great resource on how you can help out...

Haiti Earthquake Relief Page

Not Him Again

2010-01-09T20:21:00.001-05:00

Just saw Dubya at the Cowboys-Eagles game. The son of a bitch doesn't have a care in the world and still has that pompous, shit eating grin on his face. What a fuck up.

40? How did that happen?

2010-01-02T12:22:00.002-05:00

in just a little over a half an hour, I'll quietly leave my 30's and begin my 40th year here on planet Earth. For the life of me, I cannot figure out where the years have gone but there isn't much I can do about it so why not make the most of it. I have no idea what this next decade holds but I'm somehow hopeful that it will be a good one. So, what exactly does turning 40 mean?

I'm old enough to...

1. remember that being at war meant being at war in Vietnam, not Iraq or Afghanistan.

2. remember when astronauts actually went places (the moon) as opposed to today where they just go to low earth orbit.

3. have lived through the impeachment and subsequent resignation of a sitting US President. So long Tricky Dick!

4. have survived the Cold War.

5. remember that television used to consist of 3 and sometimes as many as 4 channels.

6. remember that if you wanted to change one of those channels, you had to actually get your lazy ass up off the sofa and walk to the TV to do it.

7. remember that when you wanted to call someone on the telephone, you actually had to use a phone that had a cord attached to the wall. To add insult to injury, you had to dial the number using a rotary phone.

8. have seen all three Star Wars films in the theater, when they first came out.

9. remember when MTV actually played music videos. Believe it or not, a Video Premiere used to be a pretty big thing.

10. remember when kids actually played outside and didn't sit in front of the television set or computer.

11. remember the introduction of the microwave oven and VCR. The first VCR we had was the type that required you to load the tape from the top.

12. remember when computers came with black and white monitors.

13. remember when gasoline was less than 75 cents a gallon. Yes, I was old enough to drive then.

14. remember when people could pretty much smoke wherever they wanted to and no one thought anything of it.

15. remember when big hair wasn't a sign of being a redneck.

16. remember when the depletion of the ozone layer was more of a threat than climate change.

17. remember when you had to specify that you wanted unleaded gasoline.

18. remember when going out to eat was something special and not the norm.

19. remember when "Classic rock" wasn't really classic, just rock.

20. remember when Honda made lawn mowers and not cars.

Thankfully, I'm not old enough to remember walking uphill to school, through 5 feet of snow in 50 below zero temperatures and was happy to do it.

Not Sure How I Forgot This But...

2010-01-01T10:22:00.002-05:00

It totally slipped my mind but here is one of the top viral videos of the decade...I'm Fucking Matt Damon

A Personal Look Back At The Decade That Was

2009-12-31T20:11:00.005-05:00

You've read my other post, now it's time for a fun one about the decade that just ended...

Best Movie I Saw This Decade

1. Lost In Translation- Just love the ending when Bill Murray whispers into Scarlett Johannsens ear and we just never find out what he had to say. A beautiful film that I'll remember forever.

Best Book I Read This Decade

1. The Road by Cormac McCarthy- I've never read anything so frightening and intense in my life. The story of a boy and his father wandering the road to the coast in a post-apocolypitc America is by far one of the best novels of all time.

Runner Up: Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood- This piece of speculative fiction about a world run amok seems to be coming true.

Best Television Series of the Decade

1. LOST- It will come to an end in early 2010 but this series about a group of strangers stranded on a mysterious island after their plane crashes is one for the ages. I better find out what the damn numbers mean.

Biggest Events of the Decade For Me

1. My Father passing- The loss of one of your parents is one of the most difficult things imagineable and it's something I hope I don't have to go through again for a very long time. I think about him every day but it does get easier with time.
2. A new career and a masters degree- I began teaching in August of 2001 and I can't imagine doing anything else. Here's to 9 great years and many more to come.
3. Coming Out- Finally admitting to myself that I was trans was a big deal, coming out to my family and friends was even bigger and just as scary.
4. Facial Feminization Surgery- While it didn't quite turn out like I had hoped, it was still a very big step in my transition from Greg to Kelly. Plus, it really, really, really hurt.
5. Buying a house- I've been a homeowner for almost five years now and I still can't believe it. Not sure that it's for me but it did allow me to get Shadow and my two Border Collies are much happier here than in an apartment.

What I Hope To Achieve During The Next Decade

1. Getting out of debt- I'm making more money now than at any point in my life and I don't have a penny to show for it. That all changes in 3 months when I pay off my car.
2. Getting the right body parts- I live my life as female in every possible way but I can't help but feel incomplete having what I do between my legs. Be gone already.
3. It would be nice to meet someone who isn't totally repulsed by who I am or what I look like. Girl or boy, doesn't matter.
4. Find inner peace- Sometimes, I feel totally dead inside and I want that to go away, to embrace life for what it is not what it isn't.
5. If I can do those things, well, I'll be pretty happy.

Favorite Viral Videos- I mentioned in an earlier post that the internet is the greatest invention of all time. One of the fun things about the internet are the videos that somehow go viral. Here are my favorites of the decade...

5. Antwerp Rail Station Sound of Music Flash Mob- These people look like they are having so much fun...

4. My Dick In A Box- Who knew that Justin Timberlake could be so damn funny...

Which led to Jizzed in my Pants...

Which led to Mother Lover...

3. Try To Watch This Without Laughing or Grinning...

2. Bill O'Reilly Flips the Fuck Out...

1. Where In The Hell Is Matt?

Well, Thank God That's Over

2009-12-31T19:36:00.002-05:00

Who knew that this decade, of which we have just a few hours more of, would turn out to be so shitty? I had high hopes for this new millenium but my hope was dashed just 11 months in. So, to say good riddance to a decade most of us would like to simply forget, lets take a look back...

Worst Events of the Decade- It was a tossup between numbers one and two but in the end, number one is the gift that just keeps on giving. I purposefully left off the attacks of 9/11 as I firmly believe that of the 5 things listed here, this wil be the easiest to heal from.

1. The United States Supreme Court selects George W. Bush as President of the United States- Proving once and for all that Americans really are idiots.
2. The Boxer Day tsunami in southeast Asis- A natural disaster of epic proportions.
3. Hurricane Katrina- Thousands lost their lives and damage was in the hundreds of billions. New Orleans was brought to it's knees as the city was flooded for weeks. What made it worse was the reaction, or lack thereof, from Dubya. Heck of a Job.
4. The crash of the global economy- A housing bubble of epic proportions, Wall Street greed, debt and very high oil prices conspired to bring the global economy to it's knees. It will be years, if ever, before things get better.
5. The apparent peaking of global oil production in 2008- Twenty years from now, this will turn out to be the number one story from this decade but right now, very few people seem to be paying attention to the one event that will change the world forever.

Best Events of the Decade- The pickings are slim here but I'll do my best.

1. The dramatic rise of the internet as a tool for social outreach, entertainment, knowledge, porn and most of all, people powered democracy. The internet, though invented decades earlier, came into it's own this decade and is quite possibly the greatest invention of all time.
2. The election of Barack Obama as President- Americans turned out in record numbers to elect the first African-American as President. In doing so, they said no thanks to another 4 years of fear and misguided anger.
3. I got nothing else...

Most Important People of the Decade- For better or for worse...

1. George W. Bush- He fucked up everything that he touched and in his ultimate display of idiocy and arrogance, he attacked the one Middle Eastern Country that had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11.
2. Tony Blair- The former British Prime Minister had so much potential but will forever be remembered for following Dubya on his Arabian Adventures.
3. Barack Obama- His election was a milestone for America and a beacon of hope for the world.
4. Alexander Putin- The Russian leader, despite his current title, has steadied the collapsing Russia that came from Boris Yelstin, but he has done so by cracking down on civil liberties and other social and democratic advances made in the previous decade. Tensions between the US and Russia haven't been this bad since the Berlin Wall fell.
5. Alan Greenspan- Perhaps no man is as responsible for the global economic meltdown as this fool.

People Who Really Need To Go Away This Decade

1. Sarah Palin- Please, just go back to Alaska and get lost in the bush, you are a disaster of epic proportions and I will forever hate John McCain for foisting you on us.
2. Dick Cheney- Please go back to your undisclosed location, you are a grumpy old man.
3. Glen Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and any other right wing talkers- Stop it already and just drop dead, especially you Rush.
4. Fred Hiatt- The editor of the once great Washington Post has turned the paper into nothing more than a right wing talking point. Go away.
5. Osama bin laden- Dubya had him and let him go and now it's up to adults to get the job done. May you end up on a sliver platter.

What We Have To Fear About This Next Decade

1. That Sarah Palin doesn't go away and somehow becomes the Republican nominee for President. God help us if this happens.
2. Catastrophic climate change- What part of this global problem don't people understand? Clearly our leaders aren't up to the task so it's now up to individuals.
3. The first decade of life after peak oil- If the economy ever does recover, it will quickly be wacked back down by rising energy prices. Our world runs on oil and all the easy pickings are long gone. What is left is increasingly hard to get at, very expensive to get at and doesn't have the flow rate of the oil we've been using for a 100 years. But don't worry say our leaders so go ahead, "Party On"
4. A nuclear bomb detonated in an American city- I generally don't buy the whole be very afraid of the terrorist thing but so many nukes from the failed Soviet Bloc are just begging to be taken.
5. We'll all be another 10 years older when it's over.

ReGender

2009-12-29T00:46:00.002-05:00

Kara, one of the most with it girls on the net, has an interesting post up about "regendering". One of her friends argues that once a person genders us, we cannot be regendered to our prefered gender. Kara disagrees on this but I'm with her friend on this one..

It seems like we all have to prove ourselves before we're accepted as one of the girls (or boys). Remember that new kid that moved into school in school? When did they become one of the gang? Or that new kid that joined the sports team...when did it feel like they were one with the team?

I've had a recent discussion with a coupe of friends recently about "regendering". One of the women says that once a person genders us, we cannot be regendered. Basically, once someone knows you as male, nothing you can do during transition will ever let them regender you as female. I say hogwash. I think over time, transitioners "pass" these tests that people have made up in their minds which allows them to become one of the girls (or guys). Sure, there are people that never allow a transitioner to pass these tests, but I think there are lots of people that do.

Now in Kara's defense, she "passes" about as well as one can pass. I wouldn't give her a second thought if I passed her on the street and didn't know who she was. I suspect just about everyone would react the same. That being said, not being "read" by a stranger is a whole lot different from being accepted by those who knew you when you were male. In my personal experience, it just doesn't happen, especially with those that are exceptionally close. My Mother, who has done just about everything she can to let me be me, still thinks of me as her son. It's not that she's being mean or disrespectful, far from it, it's that she spent a whole lifetime knowing me as Greg and male. The same goes for my brother and my friends.

The only people that are in my life who think of me only as female are those that I work with and even then, they still know my past and it will always be a part of who I am. I'm never going to be able to "pass" as female and as a result, I'll always be thought of as "really" male. I don't blame people, it's just the way our society works. We divided everything, and I mean everything, into male and female. Once you are in one of those categories, it's almost impossible to fully move into the other. Does it get old? Yes, it most certainly does, but I'm not quite sure that there is anything I can possibly do about it. So, I do the best I can and try not to let it bother me.

Waiting

2009-12-27T20:38:00.004-05:00

Yahoo has a post up about secrets your waiter will never tell you. Having worked many years in several different restaurants, including 4 at one of the top 25 establishments in America, I was interested to see what they were. I'll dive into each one of the "secrets" in a moment, but in my own experience, it all depends on where you are dining. In short, you often get what you paid for.

In my years working at The Red Fox at Snowshoe Mountain Resort in West Virginia, I can honestly say that everything we did was as professional and respectful as one can possibly get. The front of the house staff, all 11 of us, were the best of the best, and took pride in what we did. We took our job seriously and our very generous tips reflected that. Our talent, and make no mistake about it, we had talent, was one of the primary reasons Fodors Travel guide, along with Wine Spectator and other national organizations, always ranked us a top 25 restaurant in America.

Anyways, here's the list...

20 Secrets Your Waiter Will Never Tell You

By Michelle Crouch, Reader's Digest

What would two dozen servers from across the country tell you if they could get away with it? Well, for starters, when to go out, what not to order, what really happens behind the kitchen’s swinging doors, and what they think of you and your tips. Here, from a group that clears a median $8.01 an hour in wages and tips, a few revelations that aren’t on any menu.
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What we lie about
1. We’re not allowed to tell our customers we don’t like a dish. So if you ask your server how something is and she says, “It’s one of our most popular dishes,” chances are she doesn’t like it.
—Waitress at a well-known pizza chain

MY TAKE: At The Red Fox, every dish was to die for so no need to lie about it.

2. On Christmas Day, when people ask why I’m there, I might say, “My sister’s been in the hospital,” or, “My brother’s off to war, so we’re celebrating when he gets back.” Then I rake in the tips.
—Chris, a New York City waiter and the founder of bitterwaitress.com

MY TAKE: The Red Fox was at a four season resort and working Christmas was pretty much no big deal. People were on ski vacations and more than happy to part with their money.

3. If you’re looking for your waiter and another waiter tells you he’s getting something out of the stockroom, you can bet he’s out back having a quick smoke.
—Charlie Kondek, former waiter at a Denny’s in Central Michigan

MY TAKE: Yeah, this one is pretty much true.

4. If someone orders a frozen drink that’s annoying to make, I’ll say, “Oh, we’re out. Sorry!” when really I just don’t want to make it. But if you order water instead of another drink, suddenly we do have what you originally wanted because I don’t want to lose your drink on the bill.
—Waitress at a casual Mexican restaurant in Manhattan

MY TAKE: Frozen drinks aren't really the kind of thing you want on a mountain top in the dead of winter. In short, we didn't have a blender in the house.

5. When I was at one bakery restaurant, they used to make this really yummy peach cobbler in a big tray. A lot of times, servers don’t have time to eat. So we all kept a fork in our aprons, and as we cruised through the kitchen, we’d stick our fork in the cobbler and take a bite. We’d use the same fork each time.
—Kathy Kniss

MY TAKE: Never saw this once. Ever.

6. If you make a big fuss about sending your soup back because it’s not hot enough, we like to take your spoon and run it under really hot water, so when you put the hot spoon in your mouth, you’re going to get the impression — often the very painful impression — that your soup is indeed hot.
—Chris

MY TAKE: If it's not hot enough, fix it, it isn't that big of a deal.

7. I’ve seen some horrible things done to people's food: steaks dropped on the floor, butter dipped in the dishwater.
—Waiter at a casual restaurant in the Chicago area

MY TAKE: I've seen in happen, but not at the two fine dining places I worked at, including The Red Fox.

8. If your dessert says "homemade," it probably is. But it might be homemade at a bakery three miles away.
—Charity Ohlund

MY TAKE: At The Red Fox, it really was homemade. Suzi, our pastry chef, was as good as they come.

9. I knew one guy — he was a real jerk — he’d go to Costco and buy this gigantic carrot cake for $10 and tell us to say it’s homemade. Then he sold it for $10 a slice.
—Steve Dublanica, veteran New York waiter and author of "Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip — Confessions of a Cynical Waiter"

MY TAKE: Everything in a restaurant is marked up at least 100%, especially wine.

10. Oh, you needed more water so badly, you had to snap or tap or whistle? I’ll be right back … in ten minutes.
—Charity Ohlund

MY TAKE: Don't you dare snap your fingers at me.

11. We want you to enjoy yourself while you’re there eating, but when it’s over, you should go. Do you stay in the movie theater after the credits? No.
—Waiter at a casual restaurant in the Chicago area

MY TAKE: This is especially so at the end of the night. Go away already, you are taking money out of my pocket.

12. My biggest pet peeve? When I walk up to a table of six or seven people and one person decides everyone needs water. I’m making a trip to deliver seven waters, and four or five of them never get touched.
—Judi Santana, a server for ten years

My Take: At The Fox, water was automatically served.

13. Sometimes, if you’ve been especially nice to me, I’ll tell the bartender, “Give me a frozen margarita, and don’t put it in.” That totally gyps the company, but it helps me because you’ll give it back to me in tips, and the management won’t know the difference.
—Waitress at a casual Mexican restaurant in Manhattan

My Take: All waiters worth their weight will do nice things for their guests.

14. If you’re having a disagreement over dinner and all of a sudden other servers come by to refill your water or clear your plates, or you notice a server slowly refilling the salt and pepper shakers at the table next to yours, assume that we’re listening.
—Charity Ohlund

My Take: Yeah, we listen in on all conversations and talk about you in the back of the house. It goes with the territory. If you make a fool of yourself, your going to get laughed at.

15. I get this call all the time: “Is the chef there? This is so-and-so. I’m a good friend of his.” If you’re his good friend, you’d have his cell.
—Chris

My Take: At The Fox, Brian always joked that on Saturday night, everyone on the mountain was his best friend.

16. The strangest thing I’ve seen lately? A man with a prosthetic arm asked me to coat check it because the table was a little bit crowded. He just removed his arm and handed it to me: “Can you take this?”
—Christopher Fehlinger

My Take: Never had that happen to me. Too funny!

17. We always check the reservation book, scan the names, and hope for someone recognizable. I’m happy if the notes say something like “Previous number of reservations: 92.” If they say something like “First-time guest, celebrating Grandma’s 80th birthday, need two high chairs, split checks, gluten allergy,” then I start rummaging through my pockets for a crisp bill for the hostess and I make sure to tell her how much I love her hair fixed like that.
—Charity Ohlund

My Take: Amateur diners are a nightmare best avoided.

18. Use your waiter’s name. When I say, “Hi, my name is JR, and I’ll be taking care of you,” it’s great when you say, “Hi, JR. How are you doing tonight?” Then, the next time you go in, ask for that waiter. He may not remember you, but if you requested him, he’s going to give you really special service.

My Take: Waiters love having regulars and if you become one, we'll take good care of you.

19. Trust your waitress. Say something like “Hey, it’s our first time in. We want you to create an experience for us. Here’s our budget.” Your server will go crazy for you.
— Charity Ohlund

My Take: Absolutely, we love making your experience one to remember.

20. If you walk out with the slip you wrote the tip on and leave behind the blank one, the server gets nothing. It happens all the time, especially with people who’ve had a few bottles of wine.
—Judi Santana

My Take: I'll chase you down in the parking lot if you take both credit card slips.

Damn, I'm glad I don't have to do this shit anymore.