Another Edition of Things That Piss Me Off

It's been awhile since I had a little rant and it just so happens that a lot of things are really starting to piss me off. Let's get it started...

1. Fox News- That people actually watch this shit is insane, that they believe what they hear and see is just batshit crazy. Not surprisingly, Fox News gets busted for doctoring photos of New York Times reporters. Idiots.

2. John McCain- I'm not exactly enthusiastic about the piss poor campaign Obama has been running of late, but it doesn't mean I won't vote for him. McCain is a crazy old man who just needs to find a rocking chair to pass the remaing years away. And yes, General Wesley Clark was right, being shot down and kept as a POW does not qualify one to be President. He was a bad pilot by all accounts and while I feel bad for what he endured, it in no way makes him Presidential.

3. Waterboarding- Anyone who says this isn't torture should have to endure a little taste of it. Vanity Fair's Christopher Hitchens tried it out and what do know, he's pretty sure that it's torture.

4. Presidents who say stupid shit which in turn gets 4,000 American soldiers killed. Today is the 5 year anniversary of Dubya's "Bring 'em on" pronouncement. He's a world class jackass and one of the stupidest men alive. I don't believe in Hell but for him I'll make an exception. I smite him!

5. Americans who bitch about the price of gasoline- Quit your whining you self-indulgent pieces of shit. Over half of the worlds population was long ago priced out of the gasoline market. Of all the industrialized nations, we have the lowest gasoline prices. No where is it written that cheap gas is a Constitutional right. Dumb asses.

6. People who drive slow in the fast lane. If you live in Ohio or Indiana, please take note: The left lane is for passing and going fast, the right lane is for going slow. It's all rather simple but for some reason people in those two states have failed to learn that lesson. Enough already, you're pissing me off big time.

7. Rednecks who don't wear shirts- Why is it that the men who have no business walking around without a shirt on are they very ones who do it? No one wants to see your fat, hairy and grotesque stomach, least of all me. By the way, when did going shirtless become acceptable?

8. Republicans- Just because.

9. The so called "Sanctity of Marriage"- Look, I'm all for marriage if it's your thing. I know at least one or two couples who are actually kind of happy but by and large, most of the marriages I see are a disaster. Perhpas all these years of being free has made me cynical, I don't know, but the fact is, marriage is not my idea of a good time. The thought of waking up every single day for the rest of my life next to the same person is enough to make me throw up. It's unrealistic to expect people to stay happy in a relationship like marriage. Look, I love Reece's Peanut Butter Cups but I don't want to eat one everyday, all day. My idea is simple: Find someone that you like, maybe even love, get together a couple of times a week to do the deed, maybe pop out a kid or two but lead a seperate life. It's my observation that men prefer the company of me and women prefer the company of women. So why do we keep trying to do it differently?

10. I usually like to rant and rave about how obnoxious SUV's are but I'm done with that. It's not that I've changed my opinion of them, I haven't, it's just that they are on their last legs. Sales of new SUV's are pathetic, dealerships aren't accepting them as trade ins and they are losing more than half of their resale value instantly. I never understood the appeal of a tank like vehicle. They are dangerous to both driver and other cars, they get poor gas mileage, they give a very uncomfortable ride and they are just obnoxious beyond belief. May all of the SUV's of the world die a timely death.