Ah, I Think I'll Pass On This One

I think the worst thing about being trans is having to live with all of the stupid stereotypes. Tonight, ABC airs a special edition of Primetime Live entitled "He Becomes She". I have no doubt that all of the stupid stereotypes will be on full display tonight and judging by the pictures of the girl they are profiling, it will probably be extra humiliating. No, I won't be watching, I'll probably have a baseball game on our something else a bit more in line with my tastes. You see, shows like this are seldom good for the trans community and usually represent a view that I would just as soon not have to see. The further along I go in this process, the less and less I feel a part of any damn community.

I never was comfortable with the whole trans label and I've done my best to just try and blend into society without making a fuss about much at all. Now I'm sure that some will criticize me for this but I really could care less. I'm not an activist, I don't want to be an activist and stupid shows like this do nothing but reinforce negative stereotypes, stereotypes that I've fought hard to fight. I hate makeup, abhor high fashion, can't stand trans girls who go all girly girly on you and I would much rather tie my hair up in a ponytail as opposed to spending an hour getting it all done up. I like football and car racing, I'd rather spend my time getting dirty in the woods and I'll take a great action movie over some silly romantic comedy anday. I like wearing shorts and tee shirt in summer, jeans and a sweatsheart in winter. In short, I'm just me, the same as I ever was, it just so happens that I now have a different name and breasts where I had none.

If one is so inclined to watch, might I suggest the following drinking game from Pam's House Blend via a few others, with some editing of my own...

1. Putting on makeup. Two drinks for reverse camera shot into mirror.
2. Doing anything better done in jeans and sneakers in heels and a skirt. Examples: cleaning the house, shoveling the sidewalk, yard work, walking the dog. Drink once.
3. Before picture shown. Two drinks for picture in stereotypical male mode (sports team, facial hair, military, wedding tux)
4. Camera shot putting on or taking off a bra. Two drinks
5. Photo of any wig, breast form, padding, etc. One drink
6. Surprise disclosure, when a trans woman is introduced and then partway through the piece, her secret is revealed. Two drinks
7. Camera focus on masculine body parts: hands, feet, Adam's apple, height, etc. One drink
8. Any reference to genital surgery that refers to "becoming a woman" or "finally a woman" One drink
9. Minor chords played softly on a piano Two drinks
10. talk show host saying "you go girl" Three drinks
11. any discussion of plumbing or electricity Just chug it.
12. black and white childhood shots, MTF with cap gun and cowboy hat, FTM as ballerina. One drink
13. Trans woman saying, "I am not a crossdresser. Not that there's anything wrong with that." One drink
14. Trans woman clutching large teddy bear in hospital bed. Just shoot yourself.
15. Birthday balloons after surgery. Throw remote through the TV
16. Trans woman with new boyfriend (after shot of tearful ex-wife). Two drinks
17. Trans woman sitting in chair in above-the-knee skirt, posed so you can see what great gams she has. One drink
18. Patient wheeled off to surgery ... One drink
19. ... lingering shot of the hospital bed with the teddy bear (or wife) left behind. Make it stop, drink as much as you'd like.
20. Shot of protaganist sitting at the computer keyboard, looking at a trans support website or surgeon's website.... Ugh, two drinks.
21. Any helping professional teaching deportment One drink
22. Camera in the operating room - just drink the whole bottle
23. Any and all deployments of soft focus = 1 shot
24. Close up of dotted lines in magic marker on pale fleshy body parts = 1 shot
25. Earnest surgeon describes his motivation as "to help [girlname] become the woman she's always really felt herself to be" = 3 shots
26. Before picture with extreme facial hair - 1 shot
27. Before picture in uniform - Military, Football, etc... - 2 shots
28. Video from hair removal session : Laser - 1 shot, electrolysis - 2 shots
29. Before picture - Last time she wore a dress (F2M) - 1 shots
30. Breast binding - 2 shots
31. Taking Hormones - Self-injecting 3 shots, orals 1 shot
32. Did anyone mention an arduous and lonely childhood? Three shots
33. Meeting the school bully as "the new me" at the High School reunion? Grab the Jaeger bottle and chug
34. Looking at the old picture of self and saying something to the effect of "he was a nice guy...." or "Ken was a lot of fun, but his time is over. It's Ginger's turn now!" Two shots
35. Trans woman claiming to have [intersex] chromosomal pattern, an affinity for washing dishes, a sudden dislike of sports, etc. Open door and scream at top of your lungs, pledge to never tell a soul your story.