Top 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Religion
10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don’t force Beer on minors who can’t think for themselves.
6. When you have Beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to
make them drink it.
5. Nobody’s ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over
their brand of Beer.
4. You don’t have to wait more than 2,000 years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying that Beer labels can’t lie to you.
2. If you’ve devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.
1. You can prove you have a Beer.
Doofus Hipsters Must Die
You've seen them everywhere, they are a plague on our society and it's time the rest of us went about eradicating each and every one of them. They like to hang out in urban neighborhoods, usually near the coffee shop or record store. They tend to mingle in packs, an equal mix of girls and boys. Those of age like to drink PBR, not because it's good beer, it isn't, but because it's so ironic. Their cigarette of choice is anything made by Camel and it's the only thing they ever seem to have money for.
The boys are fond of shaggy beards, trucker hats, tee shirts that are three sizes too small, skinny jeans (no one looks good in skinny jeans), canvass shoes that are generally held together with duct tape. The only thing of value is generally an iPod. No doubt there is nothing but shitty music on said iPod.
The girls like to wear much the same, usually complemented with a scarf and wool hat, no matter the season or the temperature. They are skinny beyond belief and so in need of an all you can eat buffet. They live on coffee and cigarettes and are often much more insufferable than the guys they like to hang out with.
Most of them live at home in the suburbs but like to hang in the city, either riding in on the bus or catching a ride with the rare hipster who owns a car. They contribute nothing to society. They do not buy anything at the stores they like to hang out at, preferring to just watch the traffic go by, make snide comments at those better dressed and from time to time, take a ride on a too old skateboard.
I say no more. This plague must be stopped and stopped now. When you see these hipsters on the street, let them know how stupid they look. By all means, make fun of them, laugh at them and make them get off your property. Tell them to go back to the suburbs where they live, we don't want your kind down here. Whatever you do, don't imitate them and certainly don't become one of them. Treat them with the disgust that they so deserve.
The boys are fond of shaggy beards, trucker hats, tee shirts that are three sizes too small, skinny jeans (no one looks good in skinny jeans), canvass shoes that are generally held together with duct tape. The only thing of value is generally an iPod. No doubt there is nothing but shitty music on said iPod.
The girls like to wear much the same, usually complemented with a scarf and wool hat, no matter the season or the temperature. They are skinny beyond belief and so in need of an all you can eat buffet. They live on coffee and cigarettes and are often much more insufferable than the guys they like to hang out with.
Most of them live at home in the suburbs but like to hang in the city, either riding in on the bus or catching a ride with the rare hipster who owns a car. They contribute nothing to society. They do not buy anything at the stores they like to hang out at, preferring to just watch the traffic go by, make snide comments at those better dressed and from time to time, take a ride on a too old skateboard.
I say no more. This plague must be stopped and stopped now. When you see these hipsters on the street, let them know how stupid they look. By all means, make fun of them, laugh at them and make them get off your property. Tell them to go back to the suburbs where they live, we don't want your kind down here. Whatever you do, don't imitate them and certainly don't become one of them. Treat them with the disgust that they so deserve.
Bloodbath
Well that was ugly. I suppose I can take solace in the fact that the Dems did manage to keep hold of the Senate. That will come in handy when the Republicans begin impeachment charges against Obama next year. Speaking of Obama, I saw a few clips of his presser today and I have to say, he just doesn't get it. Seriously, does he think that they are going to meet him halfway? Really? If they weren't going to negotiate in good faith when they were way in the minority, why would they now?
Regardless, it was just a miserable night from coast to coast. Here in Kentucky, my fellow citizens saw fit to elect a certified nutcase to the US Senate. Across the river in Indiana, they doubled down on Dan Coats and pretty much made it clear that going for Obama in 2008 was an outlier. Not to be outdone, the citizens of Wisconsin, a state I used to hold in pretty high regard, decided that one of the two or three best Senators in the nation deserved to be fired. Bang head against wall now.
Locally, it was still a pretty good night for those of us here in Louisville. Our Congressman, the awesome John Yarmuth, was easily re-elected and Democrat Greg Fischer is our new mayor. Jefferson County also voted for Jack Conway in his ill fated Senate campaign so at least the stupid hasn't penetrated the Gene Snyder Freeway.
Let's have a few days to mope around and feel bad about ourselves and then lets roll our sleeves back up and get to work taking back the House and keeping the White House in 2012. I can dream, can't I?
Regardless, it was just a miserable night from coast to coast. Here in Kentucky, my fellow citizens saw fit to elect a certified nutcase to the US Senate. Across the river in Indiana, they doubled down on Dan Coats and pretty much made it clear that going for Obama in 2008 was an outlier. Not to be outdone, the citizens of Wisconsin, a state I used to hold in pretty high regard, decided that one of the two or three best Senators in the nation deserved to be fired. Bang head against wall now.
Locally, it was still a pretty good night for those of us here in Louisville. Our Congressman, the awesome John Yarmuth, was easily re-elected and Democrat Greg Fischer is our new mayor. Jefferson County also voted for Jack Conway in his ill fated Senate campaign so at least the stupid hasn't penetrated the Gene Snyder Freeway.
Let's have a few days to mope around and feel bad about ourselves and then lets roll our sleeves back up and get to work taking back the House and keeping the White House in 2012. I can dream, can't I?
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