The Field Is Set

Saturday afternoon at a bit past 6, 20 colts will attempt to join the ranks of immortality by winning the Kentucky Derby. This is the 135th edition of the historic race and a crowd of over 150,000 is expected at Churchill Downs. My bets on Dunkirk so now he's sure to lose.

Post Position Horse Jockey Trainer Odds
1 West Side Bernie Stewart Elliott Kelly Breen 30-1
2 Musket Man Eibar Coa Derek Ryan 20-1
3 Mr. Hot Stuff John Velazquez Eoin Harty 30-1
4 Advice Rene Douglas Todd Pletcher 30-1
5 Hold Me Back Kent Desormeaux Bill Mott 15-1
6 Friesan Fire Gabriel Saez J. Larry Jones 5-1
7 Papa Clem Rafael Bejarano Gary Stute 20-1
8 Mine That Bird Calvin Borel Bennie Woolley Jr. 50-1
9 Join in the Dance Chris DeCarlo Todd Pletcher 50-1
10 Regal Ransom Alan Garcia Saeed bin Suroor 30-1
11 Chocolate Candy Mike Smith Jerry Hollendorfer 20-1
12 General Quarters Julien Leparoux Tom McCarthy 20-1
13 I Want Revenge Joe Talamo Jeff Mullins 3-1
14 Atomic Rain Joe Bravo Kelly Breen 50-1
15 Dunkirk Edgar Prado Todd Pletcher 4-1
16 Pioneerof the Nile Garrett Gomez Bob Baffert 4-1
17 Summer Bird Chris Rosier Tim Ice 50-1
18 Nowhere to Hide Shaun Bridgmohan Nick Zito 50-1
19 Desert Party Ramon Dominguez Saeed bin Suroor 15-1
20 Flying Private Robby Albarado D. Wayne Lukas 50-1

Man Arms

Spring didn't last long this year, in fact it never really got here. Up until this week, the weather had tended to be rather cool with a few warm days mixed in. I started out the week wearing clothes more appropriate for early March with the furnace running at night. Today it was 88 degrees and marked the third straight day in which we flirted with the 90 degree mark. I've had the air conditioning on since Friday afternoon and it'll probably stay on through tomorrow night. So what does any of this have to do with man arms? Well, today would have been a great day to wear a sleevless top, but when I try one on, I just look absolutely stupid. You see, like most transsexuals, my arms are much bigger than natal females.

Now I've lost a ton of muscle these past few years as the hormones have done their thing but no amount of estrogen is going to change my bone structure and as we all know, the male skeleton is built much bigger than the female one. Add in the fact that I'm rather tall and it's a recipe for not being able to find clothing that fits. In the summer, it's especially hard to find tops that fit as most summer fashions seem to be off the small size. So, I'm once again on track for another farmers tan. Such is my life.

Guilty and Life Without Parole

Justice was served today when Allen Ray Andrade was found guilty of brutally murdering Angie Zapata, a Colorado transgender teen. In addition, the jury convicted Andrade under the states new Hate Crimes Law. Andrade became enraged when he discovered that Zapata still had male genitalia and set about to kill her. The defense of course used a "trans-panic" motive, arguing that Zapata was masquerading as a male and therefore deserved what she got. Obviously the jury felt differently. All too often, transgender women are at risk of getting their faces kicked in or even killed and that has to stop. No one deserves what Zapata got, no one, and today her killer begins a lifetime behind bars.

Sounds Good To Me

I'm watching Life After People, The Series on the History Channel and I have to say, it sounds like a much better world than the one we live in. Now before anyone gets pissed at me, let me make it clear, I'm not advocating we all disappear, just about 95% of us. A world with a couple hundred million people is a much better world than a world with 6 billion people. Stop having babies people!

The 10 part series begins tonight at 10 Eastern on the History Channel, #269 on DirecTv.


When I mapped out my plan with my therapist and Mom, it was decided that the most important surgery, as far as functioning in society was concerned, had to be facial feminization surgery. It was the one surgery that we deemed necessary if I were to keep my job as a teacher. It's been nearly two years since I underwent almost 9 hours of facial cosmetic surgery with Dr. Zukowski in Chicago. At the time, it seemed like a really good idea but as time has gone by, we've all pretty much come to the conclusion that things just didn't work out they way we had hoped and been led to believe. I certainly don't questions Dr. Z's surgical ability, I've seen some simply amazing results, but for whatever reason, it just didn't work with me and in hindsight, it was a bit of a waste of money.

Now don't get me wrong, the facial surgery did do some good things, my face is certainly softer and more feminine than it was before but the results certainly didn't justify the cost. I've tried to put it all behind me and move on with my life but the truth is, I'm still very bitter and extremely disappointed about how things turned out. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to get totally over it, I have to stare at that face everytime I see a mirror, but somehow I've got to get on with things and somehow move forward. This of course brings me to my next surgery.

I've been trying to save as much as possible but it sometimes seems that I'm in a bit over my head and it often feels like I'm getting nowhere. I want the gender reassignment surgery so bad and yet it seems like it will never happen. Being born in the wrong body is a horribe curse, one that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies, and to have to keep living with a penis is just about unbearable. It's a constant reminder of who I am and how I was born. I've done everything I could to make the most of things, I've been on hormones for years, had the FFS and am living full time as female but the fact is, everytime I take a shower, put on clothes or lay in bed, I can't help but notice what is there and isn't there.

Now I know that when it comes down to it, what is between our ears is a lot more important than what is betweern our legs but I just can't escape the feeling of not being whole. I never should have been born a boy, my brain and soul were always 100% female, and as a result, I have to have this surgery. How it will happen is beyond me but happen it must, especially if I want to keep my sanity.

Rock On

Guilty Pleasures...

How Many Dick Jokes Can You Make in 45 Seconds?

Filling in for Keith Olbermann on Countdown, David Schuster somehow keeps a straight face while describing tomorrow's Republican/Fox News/Right Wing Crazy Teabagging protests...

It is just so easy to mock these people, so easy that it's almost not fun anymore, almost.

PS. For those who don't know what the slang definition of teabagging is, here's the lowdown: A man that squats on top of a womens face and lowers his genitals into her mouth during sex, known as "teabagging". The Urban Dictionary goes on to say that a Teabagger is A conservative activist who is so ignorant that they protest against tax cuts (that benefit them) by throwing tea into a river. It can be used in a sentence like this...Senator David Vitter is a teabagger who wants to cut government programs during a recession. or like this...Billy Ray cheered while he watched the teabaggers protest on FOX news. or like this...I just teabagged your sister

Sunday Night Tour of Louisville

As usual, images are brought to you by Google Earth...

Bridge to Nowhere-The Big Four Bridge, formerly a railroad bridge, is now being incorporated into Waterfront Park and will be a walkway across the Ohio River.

Cherokee Park in the Highlands Neighborhood is a 600 acre preserve in the middle of the city. The park was designed by the legendary Fredrick Law Olmstead of New York's Central Park fame.

General Electrics Appliance Park, once home to over 20,000 employees, now has just over 5,000 workers. Every GE dishwasher, washing machine, dryer and other household appliance sold by GE is made here.

The Louisville Zoo specializes in breeding highly endangered animals including lowland gorillas.

The Outer Loop Landfill handles all the garbage that is generated by Jefferson County's 750,000 residents. Some of the hills of garbage are over several hundred feet tall.

Papa Johns Cardinal Stadium is home to the University of Louisville football team.

The University of Louisville Campus in Old Louisville, just south of downtown.

Vallhala Golf Course, two time home of the PGA Championship and the 2008 Ryder Cup won by the United States.

Party On

According to Time Magazine, the banking crisis is now officially over. Time to get our orgy back on. Teh Stupid, it hurts my head so much.

Do I Believe?

I had a couple of really rough days at work this week and by Wednesday morning, I was so fed up that I was actually contemplating a transfer to a new school. Teaching at an inner-city school with a very high poverty rate isn't exactly the easiest gig in teaching. There are some days where I come home from work and just want to bang my head against the wall while other days find me questioning my choice in careers. Still, despite those demoralizing days, I can't really imagine doing anything else and certainly not anywhere else.

I requested a brief meeting with my principal and I didn't hold back, clearly expressing my concerns and thoughts on what was happening. I left that meeting like I leave all meetings with her, believing in what it is that I do. My prinicipal is young, she's about 5 years younger than me, and is clearly a rising star in the district. She's done some unbelievable things these past few years and what used to be a dumping ground has turned into an example of what can be done when we believe.

My principal believes in me just like I believe in her. I believe in my fellow teachers just like they believe in me. I believe in my students just like they believe in me. I believe in all the kids who enter those doors just like they believe in me. And why is it that I believe? Because, if I don't believe in those kids, who will believe in them?

Perhaps it took me almost giving up to realize that I ended up in this place not by chance but by fate. Perhaps it took me almost giving up to realize that this is what I am supposed to be and where I am supposed to be. It is not easy teaching where I teach, it might never really be easy, but often times, the easiest route isn't exactly the best. It's why I do what I do and it's why I believe in me, why I believe in my principal, why I believe in my fellow staff members, why I believe in my students and why I believe in all the students. If not me, who?

Watch this video if you, it's so worth it...

This Is Just Wrong In So Many Ways

This whole idea that women should be ashamed of their natural bodies has just gotten totally out of hand. I've never understood the wanting to be totally bare down there but it certainly seems to be the in thing right now. Now if that's your thing, more power to you but I suspet that a great many women who go "Brazillian" are doing it because they feel ashamed of being "natural". When I was living as Greg, I had more than my fair share of girlfriends and only one of them was bare down there. It made me incredibly uncomfortable and I just couldn't help but feeling kind of creepy, like she was some kind of pre-teen or something. Anyways, women everywhere are being urged to get rid of something that is both natural, beautiful and sexy. Here's the commercial that is just wrong in so many ways, though looking at the comments, I'm obviously in the minority...

Saturday Night Louisville Tour

I'm going to try and make this a regular feature on my blog. All of the images are from Google Earth and you can click on any image to see a larger view.

Louisville International Airport and UPS Worldwide Air Hub

Falls of the Ohio and McAlpine Locks and Damn

Cochrane Hill Tunnel at Cherokee Park, Interstate 64

Churchill Downs, Home of The Kentucky Derby

Mall St. Matthews

My Neighborhood

The School I Teach At

Convergence of Interstates 64, 65 and 71

Suburban Sprawl In Eastern Jefferson County

Barges Carrying Coal From the Western Kentucky Strip Mines, Heading Northeast on The Ohio River