She liked me and I liked her. I think I've found a good fit and I'm excited about this opportunity. Life is turning out pretty good and now I'm slowly moving away from the "Trans World" and into the "Female World". It's a real good thing and I'm as happy as can be.

The Boss

I get to meet my new principal tomorrow! I wonder who's more nervous, me or her?

The elementary school I'll now be teaching at.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

One of the few things I like about owning my own house is being able to work in the yard. I'd much rather get my hands dirty in the dirt than worry about things inside. Each spring, I eagerly anticipate sowing seeds, planting flowers and trying new things. This year, I really didn't have to do too much, a lot of what I have comes back each year but I always like to liven things up with sone new plants, bright flowers and a vegetable or two. Most of what I do, I do in the front yard. The dogs like to play and with respect to them, I've pretty much given up on the backyard though parts look pretty good. As for my front, well, it's not what you would typically see in the typical urban front yard.

When standing on my front porch looking out towards the street, the first thing you come to are a bunch of flower pots filled with all kinds of pretty stuff. In a few weeks, they should really start to come alive and burst with color and foilage. To the left is a small wildflower garden mixed in with some shrubs and grasses. It's still a bit early for the wildflowers to be in bloom but they are popping up and starting to grow rather vigourously. In front of the sidewalk is the first of my rain gardens. I've built an area that is filled with flowers, grasses, small trees and other plants. This garden keeps any rain water from draining off the yard and into the driveway or sidewalk. Water that accumulates on the driveway gets drawn into the garden and percolates into the soil. This rain garden stretches the length of the front sidewalk, down the driveway and along the first part of the main sidewalk.

In the center of my yard is a small garden of low lying shrubs, flowers and a Crepe Myrtel which blooms every summer. I planted it two years ago and it's grown about two feet since then. To the right is my main area of work. I have a lot of ground cover near the shrubs under my windows, some small trees (Japanese Maple and Alberta Spruce) accented by carefully chosen flowers, Mixed in is a row of Kentucky Bibb Lettuce (almost ready to pick), baby spinach and broccoli. Behind that is a collection of spring bulbs, Creeping Flox and other cool bushes and shrubs. In front of that is a large wildflower garden with Black Eyed Susans mixed in.

Moving further to the right is my main rain garden. I placed a long extension on the drain spout, covered it with groundcover and I dug out an area about 3 feet wide by 10 feet long. I filled it in with rich compost, manure and dark top soil and filled the area with native plants that can handle very wet conditions or extremely dry conditions. I'm getting a lot of flowers on the plants and the grasses are getting waist high. By figuring out the size of my roof and the annual rainfall we get, I estimate that I'm keeping over 75,000 gallons of rainwater from entering the street or sewars. What the plants don't drink gets percolated down into the ground and eventually into the aquifer below.

To the side of my house, I have a very narrow strip of ground that gets no sunshine at all. I've planted a mix of ferns, ground cover and other shade loving plants. It's almost completely filled in and doing great. Getting things to grow where the sun never shines isn't always easy but so far so good. The Hosta's seem to love the shade and dampness and each year they grow bigger and bigger.

My next project will be to work in the area around the very front of the yard. I have a Bradford Pear which flowers each spring but the area is slopped and a drainage ditch collects water from my street and feeds it into ever larger ditches eventually reaching the sewers. I'm going to try and dig up all the grass, level the ground out a bit and plant a comibnation of ferns, tall grasses and other ground cover in an attempt to minimize any water from my yard getting put into the sewars. I don't know if I'll get to that this summer but whenever I do, it will probably be a rather difficult project. All of which sounds quite fun to me.

School's Out For Summer

Today was my last day of work as summer vacation officialy began for me at 3:30 this afternoon. Usually I'm pretty excited and more than ready for the long time off but this year I'm just ambivalent about it all. Seeing as how I wasn't in a classroom this year, it wasn't quite the grind that I'm used to and so I just don't feel like I need this long vacation. That being said, I'm still going to take it and do my best to enjoy every damn minute of what lies ahead. I don't really have any big plans, I'll be going up to Chicago next month for some revisions from Dr. Z, but other than that I'm just going to take it easy and do a whole lot of nothing. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. This morning I recieved my classroom assignment for next year. I'm going to be a real teacher again. Yeah for me.

Simply Amazing

I've been a lot of places, seen a lot of things and pretty much thought I had seen it all, but clearly I was wrong. Words will never be able to describe how amazing the Indy 500 was. I've seen numerous other Indy Car races, quite a few Formula One races and watched the 500 on tv nearly every year but being there in person makes everything else seem pretty tame. The crowd, the noise, the cars, the smells, the spectacle, the atmosphere. I would be really surprised if I ever experience anything quite so thrilling as what the Indianapolis 500 is. We'll renew our tickets for next year this week.

Click here for more pictures from today.


I've tried to tell people how big the Indianapolis Motor Speedway is but as is usually the case, it's a bit difficult to put into words. I think this picture puts it into perspective. Anyways, I'm heading out the door now........

Off to Indy for the 500

I'll be sitting in the 3rd turn with a great view of the cars coming down the back straightaway into the turns 3 and 4 and onto the front straight. The weather is supposed to be beautiful, highs near 80 with sunny skies. Race coverage starts at noon eastern time on ABC. Even if you're not a motor racing fan, you owe to yourself to at least tune in for a bit. The Indianapolis 500 is one of those sporting events that transcends mere sports, an American tradition along side the Kentucky Derby, World Series, Super Bowl and Olympics. A crowd of around 300,000 or so will be on hand for the greatest spectacle in racing as 33 cars race for the Borg-Warner trophy, a chug of milk and a winners share of $2.5 million. I'll be rooting for either Danica Patrick or Justin Wilson but my pick to win is Scott Dixon. He has the best car, has been fast all season and he's way overdue for winning this race. I'll take Tony Kannan for second, Patrick for third and Marco Andretti four fourth.

Click for larger view.

My 7 Wonders of the Sports World

On my way home from work, I usually listen to The Afternoon Underdogs, a local sports talk radio show that's actually pretty cool. Todays topic was what sporting venues would constitute the 7 Wonders of the Sports World. I never did get to hear what they settled on but the topic intrigued me and so I thought I would try and come up with my own list of 7 venues that are recognized by most sports fans. In no particular oreder, I give you my list:

1. Churchill Downs- The local spot has to be near the top as there are few people in America, Europe and Asia who don't know about the Kentucky Derby and the famed Twin Spires will be what people see.

2. Indianapolis Motor Speedway- The brickyard is home to the Greatest Spectacle in Racing, the Indianapolis 500. I'll be there this Sunday when 33 of the fastest cars in the world race 500 miles in front of 300,000 fans or so. The place is simply amazing and until you've been there, you just can't begin to compremend how big the place is.

3. The All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club- Tennis has four majors but only Wimbledon has royalty in the stands. The legends who have played and won there reads like a who's who of sports. The fortnight is an early summer classic.

4. Wrigley Field- What makes this place so special? There are newer and nicer stadiums in nearly every city but Wrigley Field has the outfield ivy, the bleacher bums, the goat, the curse of the cubs, a great neighborhood, the 7th inning stretch, day games and Harry Cary once called the games.

5. Lambeau Field- The Frozen Tundra of Green Bay is what you think of when you picture football being played the way it is supposed to be played. Green Bay is the smallest NFL city, the town owns the team, the wait list for season tickets is longer than an average lifetime and it gets damn cold up there during the winter. While the wusses in Minnesota are playing football in a dome, the Packers play outdoors in all it's glory.

6. The Streets of Monaco- While not as popular in America as the rest of the world, Formula One (F1) rivals soccer as the most popular sport in the world. Only the World Cup and Olympics draw more television viewers than an F1 race. It's estimated that over a billion people tune in to each and every race on the F1 calendar. The streets of Monte Carlo are home to the Monaco Grand Prix, F1's showcase event.

7. Augusta National- This fabled course in Georgia is home to the Masters, the most prestigous tournament in golf. With the dogwoods in bloom and famed Amen Corner, the Masters gives the winner the famed Green Jacket and a lifetime exemption. Men of steel have withered under the pressure that only comes each spring when golf's best come together.

Honorable Mentions:

Yankee Stadium- Home of the Yankees
Fenway Park- Home of the Boston Red Sox
Madison Square Gardens- Home of the NY Knicks, championship boxing and the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show
Rupp Arena- Home of the University of Kentucky
Cameron Indoor Stadium- Home of Duke University
St. Andrews Golf Course- Home of golf, Scotland
Old Trafford- Home of Manchester United
Williamsport- Home of the Little League World Series
Melbourne Cricket Grounds- Australia
Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps - Home of the Begian Grand Prix and Spa 24 Hours

A Picture is Worth $3.99 (a gallon)

People need to stop blaming the oil companies for high prices. People need to quit bitching about how expensive gasoline is. People need to quit hoping that this is just temporary and that soon enough, everything will be back to normal. Despite several months of increased global production, supply can't keep up with demand. It's no ones fault that gasoline is expensive and will keep getting more so. It's a FINITE world and in a finite world, things like oil don't last forever. As supply continues to fall short of demand, prices will keep going up. So, here's the latest data from the Interanation Energy Association and in this case, a picture truly tells the story:

Back To School- Sort Of

For the first time since September, I walked into the school I taught at for six years. I've gone out of my way to stay out of the way and let the new teacher do her thing. In a small classroom like mine, you tend to have the same kids for up to six or seven years and needless to say, you get kind of attached to the kids and parents. It was hard to leave and it broke my heart last year to walk out of there last May. Flash forward to today and it was a bit different. Tonight was the 5th grade graduation and two of my former students were going to make the walk across the stage. I wanted to be there and that of course meant darkening those doors once again.

To make a long story short, I'm glad I went and it once and for all proved that I really have moved on. The last time I was there, back in the fall, I cried when I left and swore that I would never go back. I didn't cry tonight, not even close, and if anything, I left with the satisfaction that things have worked out quite fine thank you very much. That being said, there was one ironic twist to the nights event. Seems that the teacher who replaced me this year is moving on to greener pastures. The classroom is once again open and more than a few people asked me tonight if I could come back. I thanked them for the sentiment but politely told them that it was time for me to make a fresh start someplace new. That is what I will do come August and the start of a brand new school year.

Puts Things Into Perspective

Crude oil closed today at $129.07 a barrel, up $2.02 over yesterday. It seems like only yesterday that oil was flirting with the $100 mark and here we are pushing $130 a barrel with $200 a barrel most likely this summer. I've been harping about Peak Oil for quite some time and I'm not going to quit anytime soon. I cannot say it enough so I'll say it once more: World oil production has been on a plateau since May of 2005 despite a steady increase in demand. As oil has risen, demand has started to fall in Europe, North America and Japan but not in India, China or the Middle East. Countries like Sauid Arabia, Venezuela, China and Iran subsidize their oil, often making it as cheap as 15 cents a gallon. Needless to say, there is no demand destruction in those places and that's enough to offset any destruction in what used to be the primary users of oil. Thus the increase in the price of oil.

It's unknown how long we'll stay on this bumby plateau, some signs point to one last hurrah, a last surge in oil production before going into terminal decline sometime around 2010. A lot of new megaprojects are just now coming online and for a year or two, they will be enough to offset the steady decline out of Mexico, Russia, Iran and the North Sea. But the thing is, those projects just won't be able to replace what appears to be a Saudi Arabia in decline. The Kingdom has said that they plan to save substantial oil reserves for future generations and just last week, they laughed at George Bush when he begged them to open the taps. Regardless, as oil demand grows in oil producing countries, they will begin to export less and less oil. Should Saudi Arabia's mighty Ghawar, the king of all oilfields, begin to show signs of serious decline, well, we're just fucked.

Anyways, to put things into perspective, it's important to remember that oil isn't just used for transportation, it pretty much impacts everything we use in everyday life. Everything that you see around you, everything that you touch, eat, watch, play with and work with is impacted by oil in some meaningful way. Here's just a small list of products that are directly made from oil. These are products that will be in short supply once oil begins its terminal decline in the next couple of years:

Air conditioners, ammonia, anti-histamines, antiseptics, artificial turf, asphalt, aspirin, balloons, bandages, boats, bottles, bras, bubble gum, butane, cameras, candles, car batteries, car bodies, carpet, cassette tapes, caulking, CDs, chewing gum, cold, combs/brushes, computers, contacts, cortisone, crayons, cream, denture adhesives, deodorant, detergents, dice, dishwashing liquid, dresses, dryers, electric blankets, electrician’s tape, fertilisers, fishing lures, fishing nets, fishing rods, floor wax, footballs, glues, glycerin, golf balls, guitar strings, hair, hair colouring, hair curlers, hearing aids, heart valves, heating oil, house paint, ice chests, ink, insect repellent, insulation, jet fuel, life jackets, linoleum, lip balm, lipstick, loudspeakers, medicines, mops, motor oil, motorcycle helmets, movie film, nail polish, nylons, oil filters, paddles, paint brushes, paints, parachutes, paraffin, pens, perfumes, petroleum jelly, plastic chairs, plastic cups, plastic forks, plastic wrap, plastics, plywood adhesives, refrigerators, roller-skate wheels, roofing paper, rubber bands, rubber boots, rubber cement, rubbish bags, running shoes, saccharine, seals, shirts (non-cotton), shoe polish, shoes, shower curtains, solvents, solvents, spectacles, stereos, sweaters, table tennis balls, tape recorders, telephones, tennis rackets, thermos, tights, toilet seats, toners, toothpaste, transparencies, transparent tape, TV cabinets, typewriter/computer ribbons, tyres, umbrellas, upholstery, vaporisers, vitamin capsules, volleyballs, water pipes, water skis, wax, wax paper

Coming To Your Town

Americans like to think we have it good and that homelessness is not something that happens to good and decent people. That might have been somewhat true at one point but it isn't today. CNN has a story today about women who have lost their homes in the current economic downturn and are forced to live in their cars with what few belongings they could muster and often times their pets along for the ride. No more is the homeless situation relegated to the drunks and drug addicts, no, today it has a distinctively middle class feel to it and it's only going to get worse.

We are entering a new age, one in which constant economic growth is no longer possible. There simply isn't enough cheap energy to fuel the growth that we have become used to. So what does this mean? Well, the current housing and credit crisis is only just the beginning, a glimpse into what lies ahead as the global economy, including our very own, goes into a permanent depression, one that never ends and simply gets worse and worse with each passing year. We long ago passed the point of preventing this, it's possible it wouldn't have mattered, but the point is, now is too late to start worrying about how we prosper in a low energy world. Now is the time to start worrying if we will even survive this new world.

Few things in life scare me but this does. The world as we know it is on the verge of monumental change and things are going to get very ugly before they get better. As oil surgers ever higher and becomes ever scarcer, as natural gas depletion continues and population continues to climb, all the ingredients for disaster are coming together nicely and when they all mix just right, we aren't quite there yet, God help us all. Anyways, this woman that they feature in the article lives in Santa Barbara, California, one of the nations most expensive cities. She's currently working for $8 an hour, not enough to rent an apartment there, but more than enough to get by in the flyover part of the country. It's hitting places like California first but make no mistake, it's coming to a city near you.

This Is Just So Creepy

This disturbing article from the Paper or Record is just disturbing on so many levels that I just don't know where to start. These are some pretty warped people and I like to think that most people would agree with me on that. While I somewhat agree that teenagers shouldn't be having lots of sex, it's a bit unrealistic to expect them to wait till marriage. It does happen and if that's your cup of tea, so be it, but kids are kids and they are going to have sex just like we did. Why not teach them that if they are going to be sexually active, to use protection so they don't bring a baby they can't take care of into this world.

As for those that wait till marriage, would you buy a car without test driving it? Would you buy a house after only looking at the outside? Would you order your dinner without looking at the menu? My point is not to trivialize a "no sex before marriage pledge" but to make it clear that a healthy sexual compatability is somewhat important when making a marriage work. Sex isn't a bad thing and these so called "Purity Balls" make it seem like it is. Americans need to seriously get over their hangup over sex. It's natural, it feels good and it's damn fun.

Because One Can Never Have Enough Lena...

Something nice before bedtime. She's just so yummy in every kind of way!

Would They Come After Me?

I've been a homeowner for three years now and I think that it's fair to say, owning a home sucks big time. Words cannot begin to describe how much I hate owning a home and everything that comes along with it. I was perfectly happy living in an apartment and I'd give anything in the world to go back to living the way I used to live. Anyways, I got to wondering this morning as I cursed my house and everything in it, would the bank come after me if I just walked away? I mean seriously, if I just stopped making payments, would they even bother to look for me so long as they had possession of the house? I know it would probably be easier to sell the damn thing, but I don't even want to deal with that hassle.

I've never missed a payment, never even been late and the affordability of it is not an issue, it's just that I hate the idea of owning a house and everytime I pull onto my street, I secretly hope that the damn thing blew up or something like that. I suppose I'll keep it as long as I have Sammy and River, I really only bought it to give them more space and a backyard, but once their gone, I'm outta here so damn fast you'll think I'm Superman.

Naked Girls At My Door

Okay, I know I want a girlfriend and all, but this wasn't what I was really hoping for. About ten minutes ago, I heard a knock on the door and the dogs naturally went crazy. After pushing them out of the way, I opened my door to the strangest sight I've ever seen, three teenage girls butt naked on my front porch. Well, not totally naked, they each had towels wrapped around themselves, but other than that, they left nothing to the imagination.

So why were there three naked teenage girls at my door?

They wanted shampoo of course.

It seems that one of my neighbors is having a birthday party and sleepover for about ten girls or so and evidently they ran out of shampoo. As I'm talking to them and trying to keep the dogs from getting out the door, the rest of them were standing out on the sidewalk taking pictures and that's when I told them that while I did have shampoo, I just didn't have that much and shut the door. Had I been in the 9th grade or so, it would have made my day and I would have probably invited them in to look but I'm not in the 9th grade, haven't been in the 9th grade in a very long time and lets face it, I'm more in the market for a girl around 40, not 14.

Weird, really weird.

Two Down, Way Too Many To Go

Good things happened in California today and hopefully this signals a change for equality everywhere. Why people care who gets married is beyond me but two men or two women getting married won't end the world and certainly won't cause anyone else's marriage to be any less meaningful. Besides, letting gays get married is bound to expand the economy, God knows us queers like to do it right.

Idiots At The IRS

So today, I got my tax return and the check was made out to my old boy name. I had my name legally changed over a year ago and a week later I had it updated to match my social security number. Both my tax return and my W-2 were in my current name and just to make sure there wasn't any confusion, I sent in a copy of the name change order for both the state and social security. I'll most likely spend half of tomorrow on the phone trying to get it fixed. It wouldn't be that big a deal but the check is for $1700 and it's going into my surgery fund. That's pretty damn important so I guess I'll deal with the hassle. Can't the Bush Regime do anything right?

The "L" Word (Yes, that L word)

When I first became sexually aware, I immediately took a liking to the girls. I knew in my heart, soul and mind that I wasn't really a boy, but at the very same time, I just didn't find males all that attractive. No, what I prefered were girls and that meant immersing myself in their world. I've always, ever since early elementary school, prefered the company of girls and just felt way more comfortable around them. I had friends who were boys but I always seemed to have such a very hard time of relating to what it was that I was supposed to do with them. Throughout high school, most of my friends were girls and that mostly carried over to college where I first began to feel that maybe if I found the right one, I would somehow be okay with being a boy.

If memory serves, and I think it does, I had five girlfriends during college, one of whom I dated for over two years (In an ironic twist, Cathy went through a phase, many years after she and I broke up, in which she dated only girls). A couple of those relationships were rather forgetable but two of them really meant something to me. To this day, I'm great friends with one of them and I'm glad that she stayed in my life. As much as I did like and enjoy those relationships, the fact is, they were always a bit strained, perhaps due to me having more of an interest in what was in their closet than inside their pants, but I digress. During most of my 20's, I seldom went more than a few months without either a girlfriend or a steady source of nookie. It wasn't that I was needy or addicted to having a girlfriend, it's just that it felt good being around women all the time.

My last serious relationship lasted over three years and from time to time, we did talk about getting married, even living together for two of those three years. In the end, we both realized that we pretty much hated each other and went our separate ways. Today, Valarie lives in California, which isn't quite far enough away for me. A couple of other small time relationships followed but pretty much that was it, though not by choice. In August of 2001, the woman of my dreams walked into my life and in the very instant that my eyes took her in, I knew that I had met the one woman who I could honestly spend the rest of my life with.

I fell head over heals in love with her and for several years, I kept my feelings for her to myself. It wasn't until some friends held a sort of intervention that I felt compelled to act and one fateful night in October of 2003, I told her how I felt. I laid it all out there and hoped against hope that she would leave her no good boyfriend and see that I was the one for her. It didn't happen and the next year or so was spent in a funk of epic proportions. For the life of me, I couldn't understand why things didn't work out. She and I seemed perfect for each other and I really did love her with all of my heart. It's pretty safe to say that I'll go to my grave still feeling a bit of love for her. She and I are today the best of friends and even though I don't see her as much as I would like, I'm so glad that she's still a part of my life.

When I decided to begin transition, I made a decision to stay out of the dating scene, more out of fear of rejection than anything else, but it also seemed like the best way to move forward. When I was given my first prescription for estrogen, I knew that my life would never be the same and it was a really big step towards becoming Kelly. I knew that there was a very real possiblity that for the first time in my life, I would become sexually attracted to men. I was totally okay with that and to tell the truth, there was a part of me that hoped it would happen. For some reason, becoming attracted to men made the whole thing seem more authentic. I freely admit that from time to time, I'll see a guy and think "I woulnd't mind shacking up with that."

As I said in an earlier post, I do have a strong sense of curiosity about what it would be like to have sex with a man as a woman. It's something that I wouldn't pass up if the right guy came along, but it isn't anything that's going to happen as long as I have my current equipment. For some, that might pose a problem, a sense of confusion on my part perhaps, but it's only natural that someone like me would be curious to find out what it is like to be sexually satisfied by a man. The problem only really comes into light when you finally realize that what I really, really want is not a boyfriend but a girlfriend. Now it's not really a problem per se, but it does create quite a conundrum for moving forward.

TO BE CONTINUED.............

I Want My Own Luce or Rachel

I've got some pretty good stuff to talk about later tonight but for now, I'll present just a teaser. When I first started to be attracted to the girls, I always pictured myself as one of them and not the boy I was. Perhaps that's why it took so long for me to actually have a girlfriend as I couldn't wrap my mind around the idea that it really wouldn't be the way I pictured it and imagined it to be. It hurt really bad to know that I had to play the part of the guy and as a result, my relationships with various girlfriends were always a bit weird and certainly a lot strained. I wanted something that wasn't going to happen and I would always let it get in the way of what was otherwise a really good thing.

Anyways, I think I might be ready to start venturing into that strange world of trying to find someone special. I know it's a longshot and all, but don't we at least deserve the chance to have it happen? I think so and that's what I want to talk about later. You see, I want my own version of Luce (pronounced Loose as in short for Lucy) and Rachel and it isn't going to happen unless I do something to help make it so. I have no idea if my Luce or Rachel is out there, I hope she is, but it's still nice to imagine that anything is possible.

Imagine Me and You

If it's possible to be in love with a movie, this is the one I'm in love with.

Let's Take a Break

Last nights post was one of the more important I'll ever put up but it's also pretty depressing. Let's do a 180 tonight and have some fun. This one comes from Helen Boyd:

What is your favorite word? Peloton

What is your least favorite word? Republican

What turns you on? Chicks with...brains.

What turns you off? Being timid in bed.

What is your favorite curse word? Well fuck of course though cunt comes in a close second.

What sound or noise do you love? Thunder

What sound or noise do you hate? Gasoline powered lawn mowers.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Formula One or Indy Car driver.

What profession would you not like to attempt? Lawyer

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Your dogs have been waiting for you.

If you get something out of a vending machine, it’s most likely: Coke

A word you sometimes catch yourself misspelling: Cincinnati, did I get it right?

You least want people to see you as: A man

You’re a little scared of: Mice.

The least attractive thing you do in your sleep: Talk and sometimes things I don't want people to know.

The number of contacts in your cell phone: 20

How many of them are relatives: 4

You lose your cool when someone: Blames high gas prices on oil companies.

When you go to the drugstore, you often can’t leave without buying: Magazines

Your dance moves can best be described as: Very bad.

The majority of your underwear is: Victorias Secret bikini panties though I do have a fair number of thongs.

Something you eat even though you hate how bad it is for you: White Castle cheeseburgers and I love every bite of them.

You think you’re really not a great: Person

How much cash is in your wallet right now: $2 but I do have my debit card.

The majority of your shoes are this color: black and brown equally.

You don’t think you’ll ever be able to get rid of your: Male features.

If your breath is bad, it’s most likely because you had the: Onions

You feel embarrassed when you: Stumble over something and look like a total dork.

The last public place where you used the restroom: Work

Something you don’t like to debate in mixed company: Religion

You don’t think you can pull off wearing: Sleeveless shirts.

Something you own entirely too much of: Clothes

Someone you would love to see in concert who might bring down your street cred: Bon Jovi

The last thing that you spilled on yourself: Snot

If you were on a reality show, the producers would likely portray/characterize you as the: The insecure Tranny.

Feel free to do it yourself.

Oil Surges Ever Higher and Higher

I've been harping on this for a long time and I'm sure that many of you assumed I was crazy and going off the deep end, but more and more, my fears are coming true. Each day brings a new record high for the selling of crude oil and prices at the pump seem to set records every few hours. Oil closed today at over $124 a barrel and all signs point towards $200 a barrel oil by the end of the year or early spring 2009. For me, the two most troubling things about all this is that so many people seem to think that this is a temporary thing and prices will soon be back to normal and as a result, I fully expect governments, especially our dysfunctional one, to do a lot of very stupid things.

As I've said before, there are several reasons for the increase in the price of oil:
1. Production has been flat for nearly three years now- Peak Oil is here.
2. OPEC seems unable to raise production and it now appears that Russia has peaked as well.
3. Countries like Saudi Arabia and Russia, the two largest crude producers, have seen their economies roar with the increase in oil revenues. As a result, they have less and less oil to export thus reducing the amount of oil available to importing nations like America.
4. China and India continue to see strong economic growth and as a result, more and more people are now able to afford to buy automobiles.
5. Americans are incredibly wasteful and use so much more oil than the rest of the world that until demand destruction happens here (and to Europe to a lesser extent) supply will be tight or unable to meet demand.

So what does the future hold? Well, in the short term, it means higher and higher prices at the pump. As fuel prices increase, other goods that depend on oil for production, transport and other inputs (that means pretty much everything) will also rise in price. I'm not sure at what price demand will begin to fall, but we haven't reached that point yet. As of now, only the smallest and poorest countries are being severely affected. It's probable that it won't be long till those at the bottom of the economic rung in this country will begin to be priced entirely out of the oil market. At that point, the only thing that will determine when the rest of us join them is time.

My predictions for the future are not pretty, but maybe if we get our asses in gear in a hurry, we can still prevent the worst of the worst from happening. The near future promises to be tough and what we do during these next five to ten years will determine if things go from mearly bad to downright awful. Our entire economy and way of life is based upon the premise of cheap and abundant energy. Those days are over and will never be back. We must adopt to a new way of life, one that demands that we power down immediately. The illusion that we can continue with business as usual is simply crazy and will only result in heartache and severe loss of life.

I cannot say it enough and so I'll say it once more: THE PARTY IS OVER! It's been a nice run, it really has, but the past 100 years or so will ultimately prove to be nothing more than an abberation in the history of the world. Abundant fossil fuels have made everything possible and I mean everything. The food you eat, the home you live in, the car you drive, the medicine you take and the life you are living is the result of one thing only, cheap energy derived from fossil fuels. Were it not for the discovery of oil, the greatest gift ever given us, most of us would not be here today. We were born only because fossil fuels and more specifically oil, made it possible to overshoot the natural carrying capacity of Mother Earth.

I hope that this is getting through to those of you who read this blog and I wish I had a bigger microphone to yell this from but this is all I've got. Life is really going to change for all of us and some of us are going to be better prepared than others. I want to be optimistic, I really do, but something just tells me that we won't get serious until it's way too late. I hope I'm wrong, but so far, nothing seems to indicate that things will go well. Best hopes for a low energy world. Best hopes for somehow, someway, making it through what James Howard Kunstler calls "The Long Emergency."

Will You LIck My Swizzle Stick?

Okay, I admit it, I'm a Weather Channel junkie. I've been a huge fan since it first aired in the mid 1980's and to this day, I remain addicted to the goings on of my favorite cable channel. Growing up, I always wanted to be a meterologist, but science kept getting in the way. Mom and Dad used to have fits over my opening the door to check to see if it was snowing or raining yet. I had all of the geeky weather equipment and just knew that one day I would be a real meterologist.

The Weather Channel would of course been a dream job, surpassed only by working for the National Hurricane Center, but alas, I ended up being a teacher instead. Still, I'm as fascinated by the weather today as I was all those years ago. Few things excite me like a round of severe thunderstorms, a looming hurricane or a big white blizzard.

Most people who like the Weather Channel, go ahead and admit it, you like it, have their favorite on-air meterologist. I've always been a big fan of Jim Cantore (Kelly Fact: When I worked at Snowshoe, Jim Cantore used to come up a few times a year to go skiing and I would wait on him from time to time. He's as nice in person as he is on TV.) and Dave Schwartz (totally goofy and he really gets into it), but I must confess, the girls of the weather channel have always held a place in my heart.

I suppose it had to do with the fact that it proved that women could be beautiful and have brains, but truth be told, a lot of it was the beauty. Anyways, news has broken this week that former meterologist Bob Stokes was fired for sexual harrasment (the title of this post comes from one of his comments to Andrews) after Hillary Andrews filed a complaint of sexual abuse from Stokes. Andrews has since been fired as well.

Stokes came across as a bit nerdy, but evidently he had a bit of a twisted side to him. If what Andrews claims is true, then he deserved to be fired though I wonder why no action was taken against him when reports surfaced that he had done the same to a previous coworker. I never was a fan of Andrews, she was a bit too annoying for my taste, but no woman should have to endure the things he is alleged to have said. That being said, I'm going to venture into the gutter a bit myself. Had Stokes done those things to Stephanie Abrams, well, it'd be time to open up a can of whoop ass on Mr. Perv. For those who don't know her, well, Abrams is simply the most beautiful woman on television today. She's a rising star at the network and it won't be long till she gets snatched up by one of the big 4 networks, possibly for a morning show like Today.

Stephanie Abrams, the most beautiful woman on television

Abrams has her own internet fanclub and Youtube is filled with clips of Abrams doing nothing more than giving a weather forecast. Her coverage of Hurricane Katrina was top notch and she parlayed it into her own prime time show, Abrams and Bettes. But what's really gotten her noticed, at least among her male fans, is her penchant for wearing rather tight t-shirts while reporting from the field. To say that she is generously endowed would be a serious understatement. She's got it going on in so many ways and her personality is the icing on the cake. Stepahanie Abrams is my new celebrity crush!

Here Versus There

Atrios pointed to this yesterday and so I thought I would do my own little take on the insanity that is the US housing market, or more specifically, what was the US housing market. As most people are well aware, the housing market in this country has totally tanked, but when you dig a little deeper, it's not a uniform tank. In many parts of the country, housing prices never saw the huge bubble and as a result, prices just haven't plunged. While there are a fair number of homes in Louisville and other fly-over markets in foreclosure, the fact is, the housing market has been relatively stable.

California is one of those states were things have tanked in a big way and to tell you the truth, I really don't feel sorry for most of those people. So many got in way over there heads and had no business taking on these crazy ass mortgages that they couldn't afford. Of course, the plan wasn't really to live in those houses for too long, the plan was to flip the house as quickly as possible and turn a big fat profit in a then hot housing market. Well, reality is a bitch and now it's time to pay the piper. The house I am about to show you is located in the Turtle Rock area of Irvine, a place I've never been too and have no plans to ever go to.


This piece of shit 2,128 square foot home is on the market for a cool $799,000, a half million less than it fetched this time last year. That's right, this shit ass ugly home with no yard sold for $1.3 million. It simply blows my mind that something so ugly and so sterile could ever sell for that much, but sell it did. What's worse, the home is advertised as a great opportunity to do a complete remodeling. Evidently the people who got forced out, trashed the place and now it's just an empty shell that will take a couple hundred thousand dollars to fix. Unbelievable. Now lets assume it wasn't trashed and that it was in move in condition, would it still be worth what they are asking, much less what it sold for last year? Well, I don't know, California is California and they say the weather is mighty nice year round, but give me a break.

So, what can you get in Louisville, an thriving midwestern city of 1.3 million where it does tend to rain and snow a bit more than in California? Well, it turns out quite a bit. Just one example is this classic turn of the century (19th-20th) mansion in the Cherokee Triangle, by far the most prestigous neighborhood in the city. It features 5 bedrooms, 4 full baths, 2 half baths, 6,175 square feet and a 3 car detached garage. It's within walking distance of fine dining, hot clubs, great shopping and intimate coffee shops and galleries. It sits right across the street from Cherokee Park, a 600 acre urban park and is just minutes from downtown and the expressways to take you to the burbs. I live in this zip code and can attest that this part of town is simply amazing.


Now I know that there are people who will say "yeah, it's nice, but you have to live in Kentucky to enjoy it." To that I say you don't know what you're missing. With the exception of the 360 days of sunshine and gridlock traffic, we have all the amenities of any big and exciting city. We've got great eats, wonderful shopping, a thriving arts scene, a great sporting community and a lot of qualities that people say they are looking for. Oh yeah, once people come here, they tend to stay for the rest of their lives. Give me this anyday over that piece of shit ugly ass house in bland and ugly Irvine.


My Old Kentucky Home
Words and Music by: Stephen C. Foster

The sun shines bright in the old Kentucky home
'Tis summer, the people are gay;
The corn top's ripe and the meadow's in the bloom,
While the birds make music all the day;
The young folks roll on the little cabin floor,
All merry, all happy, and bright,
By'n by hard times comes a-knocking at the door,
Then my old Kentucky home, good night!

Weep no more, my lady,
Oh weep no more today!
We will sing one song for the old Kentucky home,
For the old Kentucky home far away.

They hunt no more for the 'possum and the coon,
On meadow, the hill and the shore,
They sing no more by the glimmer of the moon,
On the bench by that old cabin door;
The day goes by like a shadow o'er the heart,
With sorrow where all was delight;
The time has come when the people have to part,
Then my old Kentucky home, good night!

The head must bow and the back will have to bend,
Wherever the people may go;
A few more days and the trouble all will end
In the field where sugar-canes may grow;
A few more days for to tote the weary load,
No matter, 'twill never be light,
A few more days till we totter on the road,
Then my old Kentucky home, good night!

Derby Vibe and the Time I Drank Myself to Near Death

You can just feel it in the air, the city is alive and ready to party. Derby Week is without a doubt, the one time of year that being in Louisivlle is probably more fun than anywhere else. Few cities throw a party like we do and with each passing day, you can just feel the excitement build as the big race gets closer and closer. I know it sounds silly to throw a two week party over a two minute horse race but around these parts it's a pretty big deal and a huge sense of pride for everyone in the community. Yesterday was the Great Steamboat Race and being a steamboat race, there was a lot of cheating. Sometimes the rules apply but for the most part they're strictly optional. Needless to say, the rules seemed to apply yesterday and the local Belle of Louisville was disaqualified for using a tug boat to help make the turn up river.

Today was the Pegasus Parade and a huge crowd lined Broadway for one of the bigger parades in the country. Tonight the bars will be hopping as most people have tomorrow off. Friday has typically been known as "Louisville's Day at the Races", a day for the locals to enjoy the second biggest day in racing, the Kentucky Oaks, the premire race for 3 year old fillies. Lately though, Oaks Day has taken on a life of it's own and a crowd of over 100,000 will pack Churchill Downs for a day of racing. That's when the real party begins though and things won't slow down till sometime Sunday morning. All around town, parties will be in full force as Hollywood invades once again. Bars that normally close at 4 AM will be allowed to stay open around the clock till 6 AM on Sunday morning.

Thankfully I won't be among the 150,000 drunken fools at the track on Saturday, I'll be at a friends party with 20 or so drunk fools. I've done the Derby many times myself, I think I've been to about 15 races, but I just don't have what it takes to throw down in the rowdy infield or the money for a $1,000 ticket in the grandstands. My wildest Derby infield would have been 1993 when I got so damn drunk on everclear that my eyes rolled back in my head and the military police had to drag me out and parade me around the track to the first aid tent. From what friends have told me, I didn't cause any trouble but my blood alcohol content clocked in at over 2.5, as close to death as I've probably ever come.

Scene from the Derby Infield

What made it worse was that out of all those people, the cameras for one of the local television stations somehow fixed in on me being dragged out of the infield and naturally everyone, my Mom and Dad included, saw me in all my glory. It took several hours for the medical staff to clear me to leave and it wasn't till they gave me fluids that I was even able to stand up. That night I slept 26 hourse, waking only a couple of times to go to the bathroom. Sadly it wasn't the last time I got stupid drunk at the Derby but I never came close to being an idiot like I did that May day many years ago. Party On!


All week, I've been looking forward to my Thursday manicure and pedicure only to just find out that my appointment was actually on Tuesday. Needless to say, I won't have pretty nails for the the Derby Party I'm going to Saturday. The next available appointment isn't till Monday. This time I won't forget.