The Heartbreak Continues

It's been over a week and still my heart aches like never before. I am so haunted by the loss of my friend and each day is a struggle to return to normal. I miss my River so much and it's just killing me that she is gone. I miss you so much baby girl and I have always and will always love you very, very much.

Good Night Sweet Baby, Good Night

I lost my baby girl this morning. I woke up to find her barely able to walk with very labored breathing. Two hours later, she passed gently into the night as I held her in my arms. River was born on June 24, 2000 and two years later, she came into my life. It would take months to get her to open up and start living again. For the next 8 years or so, she was always at my side, a bond formed that lasted a lifetime. I tried to give her the best life possible and I think I did. She loved me very much and I simply adored her. She will live on in my heart and soul and till my last breath, I will keep her memory alive. With a very heavy heart and countless tears, I begin the process of grieving for my friend. The days ahead will be among the most difficult I have ever faced. She wasn't just my baby, she was my friend and a wonderful friend at that.

Good night sweet River, your Mommy loves you more than you could have ever known. I love you my girl, you'll always live in my soul. Rest well and one day, I hope that we can be together again. I love you baby and always will. Peace be with you River!

River, may you rest in peace forever. June 24, 2000-January 13, 2011.

Better

Certainly not out of the woods but things are looking up, at least in the short term. Things looked pretty bleak yesterday morning but by last night, River seemed to be responding well to her medicine. By this morning, she seemed like a different dog. The swelling in the lymph nodes has decreased dramatically and her energy level is up as is her appetite. All good signs but until we get the results of her biopsy (either Tuesday or Wednesday), we just won't know for sure. If it is indeed cancer, well, the best we can hope for is a couple of months. If it isn't cancer, well, she should make a full recovery.

The odds are still against us, there is a definite hard lump under her face but it has shrunk big time and there is still a small chance that this is just a bad bacterial infection. Whatever happens is out of my hands but with love and the excellent care of my vet, she seems to have turned the corner and is holding her own. I honestly thought that this would be the day I had to make a big decision but Monday has come and almost gone so we live to fight another day. She's one tough little bitch, my River.

What A Difference An Hour Makes

I took my River into the vet today thinking she might have a urinary tract infection. An hour later, I'm faced with the news that she has terminal cancer. It's pretty bad and the prognosis is bleak at best. I couldn't make any kind of decision today so my doctor has given her fluids, pain medication and steroids to keep her comfortable through the weekend. I'll make a decision on Monday and though I know what that will probably be, it's just too painful to think about right now.

These dogs are so loyal, so loving and so devoted. They do nothing but give love and only ask that we take care of them in return. I've given her what I think is a pretty great life and so as I spend what could be these last few days with her, I'll do everything I can to make it special. Dogs are such a blessing and I can't imagine life without them. I spend more time with them than I do with anyone else. They are always so happy to see me when I get home, always by my side and are quite generous with the kisses.

I love you my River, you'll always live in my soul...