The 6 Weirdest Things Women Do to Their Vaginas

Alternet has a great article up about the really weird things that (some) women do to their vaginias and it isn't pretty. I've never really understand why women want to mess with what is otherwise a pretty awesome piece of machinery. I'd give just about anything in the freaking world to have been born with one, flawed or not, so maybe I'm a bit biased here but seriously chicks, bleaching your vaginia? Seriously? Who does shit like that? For the life of me I can't figure it out but what do I know, I was born with all of the wrong plumbing. And why we are at it, will you all please stop with going bare down there. It's not sexy and it makes you look like your 13 or so.

1. Problem: Your Vagina Smells Bad. Solution: Vaginal Deodorant Most likely, it doesn't smell bad, it smells the way it is supposed to smell and trust me, guys love that smell.

2. Problem: Your Vagina is Dirty. Solution: Douching. The medical community says don't do it but women still do. Despite health concerns, manufacturers still churn out vaginal douches. Pick up a box of Summer's Eve Douche, and you'll find warnings that douching has been associated with PID (Pelvic Inflamatory Disease), ectopic pregnancy and infertility.

3. Problem: Your Vagina is Too Loose. Solution: Vaginal Rejuvenation. "Let's face it. Nature really screwed up when it made the vagina. Never mind that that it accommodates the birth of a child or that it's fundamentally better designed than male genitalia. (Who wants to carry their most sensitive reproductive organs on the outside?) While nature was busy dishing out things like multiple orgasms, it forgot to make vaginas vice-tight. Luckily, plastic surgeons have stepped in to put an end to womankind's collective suffering."

4. Problem: Your Vagina is Ugly. Solution: Labiaplasty. Ah, not it isn't. In my guy days, I saw a lot of vaginias and not a one of them was ugly. Sure, they all look a bit different but ugly, never.

5. Problem: Your Vagina Tastes Bad. Solution: Vagina Mints. Ah, no it doesn't and sticking sugar mints into your vagina is going to do one thing and one thing only, give you a yeast infection. I assure you, it tastes just fine the way it is.

6. Problem: Your Vagina is the Wrong Color. Solution: Vaginal Bleaching and Dying. Exactly what color is it supposed to be? Barbie pink? Only if you want to bleach it with products that are used in drain decloggers and septic tank cleansers. Stay away from anyone that says your vagina is the wrong color.