I know I made a pledge not to date till after the big surgery, but there are times when I really wish I could wake up next to someone. Of course, I don't really think there are many people out there who are interested in doing such a thing.


Choppette | February 19, 2009 at 9:40 PM

Hi Kelly,

This was a quote sent to me by a friend recently when they discovered my change. I think it suits your latest blog post very well

"If I reveal myself without worrying about how others respond, then some will care, others may not. But who can love me if no one knows me? I must risk it or live alone." (Risking being alive - The wisdom of now)

I guess if we don't give people the chance to love us, maybe its just ourselves holding oursleves back

Bree x

Renee | February 19, 2009 at 10:07 PM

I've been playing in the dating pool. It's daunting, the pickings are slim, but there are opportunities out there. Surprising opportunities, even.

If it's something you do dive into, remember, you're looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now.

JACQ | February 20, 2009 at 8:24 AM

Kelly, you are a beautiful person filled with sadness and bitterness. It's painful to see you hurting so much. But you will one day strike gold. And when you do, you'll say, "Jacq, you were soooo right." Don't give up Kelly. Especially on yourself. If you open yourself to love, you will surely find it. Bring down some of your walls.

Kelly | February 20, 2009 at 10:23 PM

Thanks all, I appreciate your comments and concerns. I really do try to have higher self-esteem but...

Some Hippie Chick | February 22, 2009 at 3:34 PM

In a lot of ways Kelly, this might always be an imperfect life, relationship-wise particularly. Is this a physical birth defect with a cure, or a mental illness with a cure? I don't know, but the stigma of either is as real as that of any birth defect or any treated mental illness. Bottom line is that we aren't, weren't and can never be completely "normal". But we CAN go out and live very good approximations of what might have been. What should have been. I think that's what you mostly have been trying to do.

It doesn't mean we don't get depressed sometimes. And it doesn't mean we don't continue to "cope" with this forever no matter if we have 10,000 operations.

But what you have to do....what we all have to get out and live the best life we can. There is plenty of room for it to be beautiful and happy despite the trials, and you have so much to offer someone if you give it a chance.

The wall remains there..... but you can dig plenty of chinks to let the light shine through.