On The Couch

Why is it that the movies and television always show patients lying on a couch when visiting their therapist or psychiatrist? I've seen plenty of both and I've yet to see a sofa or couch that was fit for lying on. Anyways, I went to see Marcia today and the first part of our session was pretty good, we sometimes get off on these tangents that have nothing to do with why I'm there, and today was one of those. The second half of the session was a bit more serious and can pretty much be summed up in four words: I cried a lot.

Why you ask?

I just have this complete sense of failure about myself and it won't go away. There really isn't any reason to feel that way, I've done a lot of really great things in my life, but that's how I feel. I just can't escape this feeling that my time here will never amount to a hill of beans, that the second I die, the world will never know that I was here. I told her about looking at pictures of me as a baby and feeling like maybe I disappointed that precious little boy, that I didn't live up to the potential that I had. I have no idea if any of that has any justification, but it's how I feel.