Which World?

Editors Note: This post, no matter how many times I wrote it, just never did come out the right way. I'm not ever sure what it is I'm trying to say here but perhaps it will come to me in the next few days. Anyways, here's what came out tonight...

Which world do I belong in? Does being T make me queer? Does my history of only dating girls make me straight? Will the queer community ever accept someone like me? What if I suddenly decide that guys totally do it for me? Then what? Will I just become another straight laced American girl? Or will I never really be considered a girl, just a guy playing one in real life?

These are all questions I grapple with from time to time and they've been on my mind quite a bit lately. We all know that the T is the most overlooked of the letters in GLBT despite the fact that their are few queerer things one can do than change genders.

It's weird, when I was living my life as a straight male, I was more involved in the queer community than I am now. The straight life always kind of bored me and the thought of settling down and getting married just scared the hell out of me. So now I'm in the middle of the biggest change one can possibly make and I want back in that queer community in a big kind of way. The question is, will it happen?

5 comments:

jc | January 7, 2009 at 9:51 AM

Just be yourself. Don't worry about c ommunities. They are all fake constructions anyway.

JACQ | January 7, 2009 at 7:36 PM

We love ya, Kelly. We don't care who you want to be. We just want you to secure within yourself and happy. And really, what else is there in life?

Kelly | January 7, 2009 at 9:17 PM

Good advice all but sometimes I just feel like I don't belong anywhere. Yesterday was one of those days.

Anonymous | January 8, 2009 at 7:00 PM

I'm not T, not gay, and still don't feel like I belong anywhere. Sounds like you're more mainstream than you think. :) You're just fine.

nexy | January 10, 2009 at 10:56 AM

i think most of us, queer or not, search for a place in which we belong. at the risk of sounding corny, remember the theme song from cheers. so your definitely in good company there.

regarding whether you'll ever be regarded as a woman or not, that really depends on how many closed minded bigots you ask. there will always be people who want to hurt and hate, in an effort to deal with their fear.