Becoming Whole and How in the Hell am I Going to Pay for it?

I've started to really research the different SRS surgeons and it kind of has me in a funk. It's not cheap and I'm pretty sure that having it done in this country is pretty much an impossibility. That leaves Thailand of course and in some ways, it's pretty doable. I know several girls who have flown across the Pacific to have the surgery and all were very pleased with the results and the outstanding care they received. It's not the great bargain it used to be but compared to what's available here, it's still pretty cheap. Right now, I have about $2400 saved up but things are going to be pretty tight going forward. I'm pretty sure that by next summer it might be possible to come up with the funds for surgery and hospital expenses, but then what do I do about hotel and living expenses while I'm over there for a month?

Further complicating matters is the worry that by next summer, air travel will have become so expensive that only the rich can afford to fly. I fully expect oil to be selling for upwards of $200 a barrel next year, making air travel something that people in my financial bracket simply won't be able to afford. Add it all up and it sometimes seems just overwhelming and simply undoable. I'm not ready to give up just yet, far from it, but I recognize that it won't be easy and that each year I have to wait, makes it that much more expensive.

There was a time when I wasn't sure that I actually ever needed to have this surgery, I thought that maybe just living as a girl would be enough, but the further I go, the more it becomes clear that I NEED to have this surgery. As I've talked with the girls that have had it done, all of them, without fail, say it was the best thing they ever did. Having plumbing and electricity that works would mean the world to me and I dream about the day it becomes a reality. As a small kid, I use to climb up into trees and rub myself against the branches hoping that it would cause my penis to fall off. When taking a bath, I would always cover it up with a wash cloth so that I wouldn't be forced to stare at. In short, I never wanted it and that hasn't changed with time.